So I come back here to vent some frustrations even though I said I wouldn’t be posting here anymore. As it is, Dignitas outright denied me (fuck those sorry bureaucratic pieces of shit) so I guess I might have a few more posts left in me, though I’m not entirely sure this one won’t push me over the edge to try to find some pretty sure-fire ways to take matters into my own hands so to speak.
I had a feeling this day would come eventually, but it’s finally come and it is UGLY. Here’s a re-broadcast of a little post I just posted to the best Facebook group in the history of Facebook groups:
Oh god. Here we go.
I just found out my chain-smoking (both pot and cigs), binge drinking and highly pro-life Pollyanna pronatalist baby rabid younger sister is fucking pregnant. She and her thug boyfriend are due next winter/spring and they insist on keeping it. It’s bad enough they’re bringing a new individual into existence but worse that she foesnt have the willpower to lay off her substances for even a day. Case in point that is going to be one fucked up kid and I’m supposed to be supportive and civil about it?
Oh the agony…
Seriously. My sister is about the most fucking irresponsible person I know. She abuses substances; her stupid, abusive, black thug boyfriend fucking sucks and she’s too blind to see it all while being a delusional Pollyanna life-affirming idiot.
I feel absolutely sick to my stomach. I’m so horrified that she not only insists on committing the supreme act of evil (procreation) but also insists on drinking and smoking cigarettes and pot while pregnant because lord knows she isn’t mentally strong enough to lay off of it for even a day.
I am beyond angry right now. The only solace I take is that I won’t be imposing the unfortunate state of existence on anyone myself. I’m angry and I feel so sorry for the individual who is not only going to be brought into existence against its will, but in all likelihood who is going to be completely fucked up mentally and physically because of her substance abuse problem.
Fuck her and her sorry piece of shit boyfriend…
I tried to post a comment “in my own defense” on the LJ page because of the venom that they spewed toward me on there, but the comments are restricted so I’ll post that comment here:
I tracked this back in my “stats” and I just felt the need to come here and post a common sort of an “in my own defense” kind of thing.
For those that have wondered, I have a number of both mental and physical ailments that make life intolerable at best. I’m autistic and have antisocial personality disorder, one or the other would be enough to incapacitate me from being able to maintain a job long-term but the both of them together make it to where I couldn’t hold down a job to save my life. On top of all of that, I have chronic cluster headaches, Graves’ disease, wolff-parkinson-white syndrome, among other things.
I have no doubt I qualify under “unbearable and uncontrollable pain” due to chronic cluster headaches alone but this combined with everything else I think easily makes the case for “life-long incapacitating disability” as required by Dignitas to qualify for their services (as mentioned, one does not need to be terminally ill to qualify). I have made this decision after exhausting all other known options.
I don’t pass judgment upon those who wish to continue living once in existence, so all I ask is that you don’t pass judgment on my decision to end my life. Thank you.
Yes, I know it’s been quite awhile since I’ve posted here. I went out, had my fun, even tried my hand at a romantic relationship and a new career.
Case in point, my life hasn’t gotten a itty bit better.
With that in mind, I’ve requested Dignitas in Switzerland to assist me in committing suicide. I see no reason to continue with life at this point. As euthanasia is legal in Switzerland, even for people who aren’t Swiss citizens, I feel a 100% guaranteed effective mode of suicide is the best possible solution to my seemingly insoluble problems.
With that, this will be my final post to this blog. I’d like to thank all of you for reading these past two years. I won’t be deleting this blog as it’s provided entertainment for a number of people who have even stumbled across it in my absence. I intend to leave it here so it can continue to be enjoyed long after my death. Even if for entertainment purposes, if I can make others’ lives a little less miserable it’s worth it.
Again, thank you; and if there is an afterlife I look forward to meeting many of you there. :-)
EDIT: Here’s a documentary I found interesting. It’s like an inside look at Dignitas. They actually show an assisted suicide toward the end in real-time. Very interesting. To think that will be me in several months is, well, slightly unnerving but a huge relief nonetheless. I know for a fact I will feel a deep sense of relief after I drink the cocktail.
Seriously, why do we set aside a day specifically to recognize male breeders? It makes absolutely no sense to recognize something that’s just a result of biology.
There is nothing special about fatherhood. There is nothing miraculous or amazing or divine about it. There’s nothing spectacular about sticking one’s penis into a woman’s vagina and making it vomit into the birth canal and thus starting the cycle of reproduction. It’s all basic biology! We don’t celebrate mitosis, the production of ATP, or any other biological process with its special holiday, why the hell this? Makes absolutely no sense.
If anything, fathers are to be demonized as much as their female counterparts, for without their sperm we would not exist, and since it’s better never to be brought into existence, it follows that fathers, like mothers, have all committed the supreme act of evil. And for that reason alone, it follows that fathers should be scorned, not glorified.
So to my biological father, and to all fathers wherever you are, FUCK YOU!!!!!!!
Being pro-abortion (as opposed to pro-choice) myself, a commenter linked me to an excellent defense of the pro-abortion/pro-death position. A very engaging and convincing read, and well worth your time so I’m reblogging it here.
Go here and you will find a whole host of entries making very strong arguments in favor of the pro-abortion position and trashing both the anti-abortion view and the so-called “pro-choice” view. To me, it’s cut and dry: if one is an antinatalist, the logical equivalent must be that one is pro-abortion. To quote the original poster: “Life is an imposition, not a gift.”
Enjoy these excellent posts.
Originally posted on Ask a Philosopher:
Why do people keep bearing children when life is so hard, ugly, and unfair?
Why to bring into existence a new life, when life is so much pain? why when anyway, most times, children bring more worries than happiness? why do parents look through ‘pink glasses’ while deciding to have children, hoping for a beautiful life for their children (and for themselves), and they don’t learn from the experience of their parents?
Why, when no-one thinks anyway that living his/ her life again (exactly the way it already was) does worth it?
I see children everywhere, new poor lives, it seems like their parents think that life is worth living. when they’re not happy anyway, why do they bring into existence a new life, that will suffer the same as they do?
It might sound depressive, but really, I rarely see people that enjoy their life and are…
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So a guy I used to play in a pipe band with just had a kid. Posted it all over his Facebook and whatever, baby pictures, whatever. Here we go with the annoyance of the baby pictures every five minutes and whatever, but as my understanding of this world has evolved, my irritation with it has gone a different direction.
I don’t feel sorry for him or the mother. I’m not happy for them obviously, in fact I can’t help but kind of feel some resentment toward them. Whenever I hear of an old friend or family member having a baby, my initial reaction is always one of sympathy for the baby.
Every time a child is born it’s a tragedy. Being stripped of the blissfully ignorant state of non-existence and being forced into existence by one’s parents is nothing short of a moral travesty. This is why I can’t help but get angry and couples who consciously try to conceive, when they could just as easily adopt a kid that’s already been brought into existence and not force another individual into existence.
Surely I can’t be the only one who feels this way whenever I hear a baby announcement. Who knows? Maybe I am. I highly doubt it though. If one is antinatalist to the core like me I can’t think of any other way the could feel. This world is a sad, scary place, life fucking sucks, and to subject another being to it is just the ultimate act of cruelty and selfishness.
Fellow childfree/antinatalists: do you feel the same way?
Though this doesn’t directly pertain to a childfree or antinatalist theme, I figured this recent entry on my main blog would fit here, mainly because I see a bunch of raging parents (and sometimes their offspring even) getting belligerent with sports officials, and it’s just uncalled for. I swear, sometimes parents act more like children at sporting events than their kids do. It makes me sick to my stomach. I feel sorry for those kids that have to deal with it. It’s embarrassing.
I understand that in the heat of competition you might get a little irritated with a close call that doesn’t go your way. I understand you fans really want your team to win. I really do. Competition turns even the best of people into monsters just frothing out the mouth to kill someone, and understandably so. However, the lack of respect for sports officials is absolutely disgusting.
I’m a former sports official. I officiated pee-wee/middle school/high school football, middle school/high school basketball, and ASA/USSSA/high school/NAIA/NCAA softball for 6 years. It was about the best job I could have had at the time which gave me flexible hours and paid better than just about any other part-time job I could have. I didn’t much like the job, mind you, but it fit my lifestyle at the time.
Most games went by without issue. I mean yes, coaches and players would want to ask me a couple of questions, but a majority of the time they did so in a polite manner and all was well. There were however a handful of incidents every season that got crazy, all of which resulted in me removing the offending person(s) from the area. I had a reputation for a quick ejection and/or a quick technical foul. These earned me the nicknames “Mr. T” and “the ejection seat” which, I have to admit, I was proud of. I didn’t put up with any BS from anyone. The second a coach or player raised their voice to me it was an immediate technical or ejection. That was my policy and I stuck to it. I also had no issues removing problem fans and I ejected more than my fair share of them. I wasn’t about to stand around and take any verbal abuse from anyone. It’s just not necessary and it won’t change my call.
The point being is that we’re only human beings. I promise you officials don’t intentionally hose you. We are limited by the perspective we have on the field and admittedly it’s not necessarily the best view, and in many cases those in the stands and/or watching on TV at home have a better view than we do. We also don’t have the luxury of slow-motion replay (with the exception of D1 NCAA and NFL football) so we have to make snap judgments on bang-bang plays.
I challenge any of you hecklers to put on the stripes, the blue, or whatever and do a better job. You think you can do a better job than us, so why not come down here and prove to us you can do a better job? What, afraid you’re going to make yourself look silly? Yeah, that’s what I thought, smartasses.
Like I said, I understand that tempers can fly in competition. That said, bitching at us over what you think may be a bad call isn’t going to win you any brownie points and if anything will do nothing but hurt your cause. I’m speaking from experience on the other side of the coin too. I played men’s fastpitch softball for about 10 years. I have been ejected my fair share of times and every time I was ejected I fucking deserved it and I knew it before I even opened my mouth to jaw at the umpires. I have no hard feelings toward any of the umpires who gave me the heave-ho and had I been in their position I’d have done the same thing. It’s just part of it though.
You don’t have to like the call, but you had better damn well respect it. We really do our best, and we have bad days just like anyone else. Cut these poor officials some slack. It really is a hard job.
I have consistently noticed one thing about the flaming pronatalists who make their way over here to attack me that differentiates them against antinatalists and effectively reduces their case to nothing. Here is the key difference I’ve noticed:
Antinatalists: Use evidence-based arguments for their position.
Pronatalists: Use emotionally-based arguments for their position.
I’m dead serious, read any work by an antinatalist philosopher. They all observe the cardinal rule of academic writing perfectly, namely to not interject one’s self into the work. I don’t know a damn thing about what kind of a life David Benatar lives. All I know about him I know from his books (namely that he’s an antinatalist and that he’s an advocate for the men’s rights movement). I don’t know what kind of life he lives outside of this. For all I know he might have a really exciting life and going out there living life to the absolute fullest. He could be one of the happiest people on earth. That wouldn’t be a contradiction to being an antinatalist, for one’s own emotional attachment to life is irrelevant in determining whether it’s better to be born or not to be born.
On the contrary, I’ve never seen an evidence-based refutation of antinatalism from any pronatalist authors. They all invariably interject their own emotions and talk about how great their life is witout an ounce of logic or cold, hard evidence for their view. We all know what kind of lives all of the pronatalist authors live, which is a direct violation of the cardinal rule of academic writing. Does that mean, however, that all pronatalists are happy in life? The answer is absolutely not. Most of those that fall into that category also use religious arguments for their position, which again have no merit. Emotional and religious arguments have no place in the world of academia.
And that is the difference between antinatalist arguments and pronatalist arguments and why the pronatalist position is reduced to all but nothing. There is no hardcore evidence in favor of pronatalism but an abundance of it in opposition of pronatalism and in favor of antinatalism, thus antinatalism wins.
Quod erat demonstrandum.
Just figured I’d let you know what’s been going on with my life and why blogs have been incredibly sparse as of late.
Basically, my life has turned to complete shit. I had to leave my company due to bullying on the job. I just couldn’t take it anymore. Went to self-employment (as I really can’t do any other sort of work due to my incredible introversion) doing clock repair and flight instruction and I’m doing OK but not overly so. I’ve had falling outs with several friends and what little family I had left. My cat passed away due to complications from a severe hernia and my dog had to be put to sleep because he started showing signs of rage syndrome.
Needless to say I’ve been incredibly depressed the past few months, to the point I’m barely able to function anymore. I think it’s safe to say that I haven’t had the energy to come up with blog topics as of recently, though I do appreciate my loyal fans for staying with me during this time.
In happier news, during this time of psuedo-unemployment I’ve decided to devote the next several months to travel. In July I’ll be heading to England for probably around 4 months to tour bell towers. As an avid change ringer it’s been one of my dreams to go on a bell ringing tour for a long time now. Living in a place I hardly get to do any (North America) due to a limited number of available towers, it will be a breath of fresh air to be able to grab a new bell tower virtually every day (it’s not hard to find a nearby tower in England and many of them stagger their practice nights so that you can go to one practice one night and then somewhere else another), staying in other ringers’ houses (they’re always glad to put you up in my experience) and hopping from village to village via public transit. It’s my goal to grab at least 100 towers, and I do have some must-grabs on the list (Liverpool Anglican Cathedral, Worcester Cathedral, York Minster, Exeter Cathedral, Southwark Cathedral, among others), but from there I’ll probably just kind of play it by ear.
Afterwards it’ll be to Japan for a couple of months. My mother’s side of the family hails from Japan and I’ve always wanted to go explore the area from which I descend. Go hiking in the mountains, see the big cities, attend some festivals, you name it.
I’m kind of hoping my travels will re-invigorate me and convince me to carry on with life. If they don’t, and I crash upon returning home, well, I’ve decided I’ll probably wind up putting a bullet through my skull. I can’t continue to live like this. It’s just too difficult.
It’s sure amazing being CF sometimes. To be able to just drop everything and do such travel would be impossible without children. Hell, if I decide that terminating my existence is the solution to my problems, again that’s made a feasible and possible choice by being CF as I don’t have any kids I’m responsible for. In that light, my passing wouldn’t negatively affect anyone. Being CF sure is great. :-P
Anyway, I do apologize again for not blogging so much recently. I’ll do my best to try to make more regular posts.