Monthly Archives: December 2011
You know, this blog has been all serious since it started. It’s time for a light-hearted, humorous post. Since I’m a cat lover (I have three of my own), I compiled a list of 10 reasons why cats are better than kids.
1. You can actually get rid of a problem cat. Got a problem child? Sorry, you’re stuck with that kid for 18 years whether you like it or not.
2. Cats will actually leave you alone when you want to be left alone. Your kids? Sorry, they want your attention constantly and just can’t entertain themselves.
3. It takes months to potty-train a toddler. It takes days to litter-box train a kitten.
4. Cats are much less expensive to care for than children.
5. You don’t have to cook special meals on top of your dinner for a picky eater kid. All that your cat ever wants is a nice helping of his/her favorite cat food. What could be easier?
6. You have to use your sick time to stay at home with your sick kid (thereby having to work when you’re sick). Your sick cat doesn’t require you to stay home with him/her when he/she is sick.
7. Going somewhere for the night? Feed and water your cat ahead of time and you’re done. No trying to find a babysitter!
8. Want to go on a vacation alone (or just with your spouse)? Nobody needs to watch your cats all day, just have your neighbor feed and water them. Again, much cheaper.
9. Cats won’t scream and cry and keep you awake at night. You can spend your sleep time actually sleeping!
10. No dealing with raging hormones (well, provided you get your female cats fixed, which you should be doing anyway).
Right after I had my vasectomy my now ex-friend Faith asked me this very question on Facebook in response to my first post-op status update. For the record, faith is an ex-friend because she got a massive case of placenta-brain and wouldn’t stop posting about her damn kid (which she had out of wedlock, I might add). Well, that bit of history aside, it’s a question I’m frequently asked and I think it’s one worth addressing, because it’s rather interesting.
Every one of us, regardless of our sex, orientation, etc. has certain things we look for in a mate, and there are other things that are absolute dealbreakers. There’s nothing wrong with it, but that’s just the way it is. We all want different things in a significant other. Some things we might be willing to compromise on a bit, other things would make the relationship just absolutely not work. For me, having children or the desire to have children is one of those things.
My #1 requirement in a mate is childfree. The only exception I’d be willing to consider is if the person had children that were all already grown and out of the house. I don’t waste my time dating those who desire to have children or even fence-setters. I want an absolute commitment to the childfree way of life before I will commit to someone else.
Has this cost me a lot of second dates and potential relationships? Absolutely. Most women in most of the places I’ve lived want kids more than anything (or say they want to, but I already addressed that). If that’s the case, more power to them. I’d rather us not waste each other’s time and just move on. There’s no use for her to be with someone who won’t give her what she wants, and likewise there’s no reason for me to be with someone who will try to force me to have something I don’t want. It would be trouble from the start.
In essence, though there are some issues you could reasonably compromise on, I don’t think this is one of those, and that goes for everyone (not just me). I think the children issue is one that both you and a significant other absolutely have to be on the same page on before you get married. If you’re not, disaster will assuredly result. Stick to your guns on this one and don’t waver for anyone, regardless of how charming and attractive they might seem to you.
One thing that a lot of parents confront me (and apparently a lot of other childfree folk) about is the need to “continue the species.” Their argument is that if more people thought the way we do, the human race would go extinct. It’s just another thing they use to try to guilt-trip us into having children.
Well, if I were to be completely and totally honest, no, I don’t really care about continuing the species and I don’t understand why it’s so damn important. The earth was around billions of years before humans were ever part of it, and will be here long after the human race goes extinct, and it will happen eventually. That’s just the natural progression of life on earth. Species evolve, they thrive for a time period, and then they go extinct. It’s not an inherently bad or sad thing. It’s just what happens.
That said, if we were to be totally realistic, the human race is in no danger of going extinct due to lack of breeding. Childed couples still dramatically outnumber both childless and childfree couples, and there are enough accidental pregnancies alone to sustain the number of births necessary to reproduce at the replacement level (and keep the world population growing at a rapid rate). When the human race goes extinct, it will most assuredly be due to reasons other than a lack of reproduction. Either some natural disaster is going to come along and wipe us out or we’re going to wipe ourselves off the face of the earth because of our own blatant stupidity. That right there is reality.
However, even if the human race were to go extinct due to a lack of breeding, why is that a bad thing? There is no legitimate reason anyone could come up with as to why it is, because it just isn’t. Extinction isn’t tragic nor is it sad. As I said, it’s just the natural progression of life.
From the bottom of my heart, I’d like to wish you all a very happy, childfree holidays. Whatever holiday you celebrate, I hope it’s a ton of fun and you get to spend it with those who mean the most to you.
And most importantly, don’t forget to get yourself something nice with all that money you’re saving by not having kids. Let me know what you’re getting yourself, it’ll be interesting to know!
At any rate, have a good one!
-L, the cool childfree guy
You know, the more I think about this, trying to understand my childed friends (which I still don’t, by the way) I’ve slowly started conjuring a new theory as to why people have kids. I seriously think I’m right about this, because of the way most parents act. They act like being a parent pains them. Hence this new theory.
I’ve come to the conclusion that most people probably don’t want kids, but have them for other reasons and try to justify their choice (or accident, whichever the case may be) by saying they wanted their kid. I think most people probably have kids either because they feel some sort of pressure (usually familial, societal, or religious) to have kids, or because the kid was a result of an accidental pregnancy.
Of course, when faced with the reality of what having a kid entails, who’d really want that? Given the tremendous expense of raising a kid (last estimate I heard was $226,920 over the course of 18 years – source), your personal and social life going out the window, dealing with temper tantrums and changing diapers, raging hormones, among other things, I don’t understand who would want anything to do with parenting. There are no real benefits to having kids, so they have to justify their choice through other means.
Now, ask parents what they think and they won’t admit it. Just like if you ask someone who just bought a new car they’ll tell you they love it, even if they really don’t. It’s called buyer’s remorse, and it’s no different in the parenting world. I’ve talked to countless parents who regret having children, and even more that say whereas they don’t outright regret it, if they had to do it over again they wouldn’t have children. These I think are the honest ones of the bunch. I’m pretty good at spotting buyer’s remorse, and the ones who go on and on about how great their kids are? It’s pretty obvious to me those are the ones suffering from serious buyer’s remorse (or parent’s remorse, in this case).
Who knows, though. Maybe I’m wrong. I’m just going by observations. I’m not a psychologist but I can read people pretty well, and it leads me to this conclusion.
Malaysia Airlines cause a ruckus earlier this year when they decided to ban children from first class. Apparently there were enough complaints from first-class passengers that kids were ruining the flight experience for them. It’s seen some backlash, but in general the support for it has been there.
Quite frankly I think it’s a great idea. First Class passengers shell out hundreds (in some cases thousands) more dollars for their seats than those flying in economy class. They should be able to enjoy a peaceful, quiet flight without a noisy kid disrupting their flight experience. What business does a kid have in First Class anyway? Most of them aren’t of age to drink alcohol, and they sure as hell don’t need the extra leg room.
One other benefit of banning children from First Class comes to those of us in my ranks: the flight deck crew. First class is pretty much always located right behind the cockpit. Yes, the cockpit door is shut during flight, but you can still hear noises coming from the cabin, and particularly those that come from closer up to the cockpit. I can’t imagine anything being more distracting to us pilots than a screaming kid. During cruise it might not be so bad, but during critical phases of flight that require our full attention and energy (namely takeoff, landing, and emergency situations should they occur), we don’t need that kind of distraction.
Malaysia Airlines isn’t the only one restricting children, however. Ryanair, a budget airline from the UK, recently announced that they would be offering child-free flights starting last month for some of their highest-density routes. Ryanair, unlike most legacy airlines, doesn’t have first class, so they chose this option instead (and, in turn, are charging more for these flights). However, the demand is there and from the looks of it, customers are more than willing to pay the extra fee. I see this as an excellent money-making opportunity for the airline.
Now, I don’t think we should ban kids from airlines in general. That would be taking things too far. Restricting families from vacationing or taking trips together is a bit much. However, passengers (and especially first class passengers) are entitled to a peaceful flight, and let’s face it, there’s nothing more peace-disrupting than a noisy kid.
So yeah, I fully support the practice and I hope my airline will implement it soon. It would make my life much easier, at any rate.
What do you think? Are you for or against first class kid bans?
Today, I’m deviating from my normal topics regarding childfreedom to pay my respects to a man, who in my opinion, was one of the greatest thinkers of our time: Christopher Eric Hitchens.
62. What a young age to die. Too young, in fact.
Christopher Hitchens was, in my eyes, a man of honor. Unwavering in the backlash from the majority, standing true to his convictions until his last breath. If anything, maybe this will shut the whole “no atheists in foxholes” argument up. He’d been in a foxhole for the past few years, and he never once wavered in his lack of belief. This just goes to show that yes, there are in fact atheists in foxholes, and yes, people do in fact die atheist.
Hitchens was, without a doubt, one of the most intellectual men of our time. A profound, deep, outside-of-the-box thinker and visionary. He challenged those he encountered to think critically and challenged ridiculous notions that hold society back. In a way, I wish I were more like him in that regard.
Cancer sucks, and pneumonia is a terrible way to go. Truth be told I’m surprised he held on this long. He was his own fiery self right up to the end though, never backing down. I guess atheists can in fact have hope in the face of adversity, after all (in your face, Christian apologists!).
In a way, I’m relieved that he’s no longer suffering. May he live on in this world, and may we carry on his noble work of pushing for more secular governing bodies and a purely secular society. Rest assured Hitch, you did not die in vain.
It seems to me that many men are afraid to get a vasectomy because of the anxiety that the procedure will be painful. This I can definitely understand, as the idea of getting a shot in your scrotum sounds very painful indeed. Of course, local anesthetic burns like crazy no matter where it’s administered, and of course it would be much, much more uncomfortable on the more sensitive areas of the anatomy (and we all know how sensitive that part of the male anatomy is). That’s why I sought out a doctor who did the new no needle, no scalpel method for vasectomy.
The no scalpel vasectomy has been around for some time, which is essentially a vasectomy done kind of like an arthroscopic surgery. Instead of two incisions being made in the scrotum, only one puncture wound is made in the center with a scissor-looking thing, and the vas deferens are operated on from there. This is relatively new, but it’s been in use for some time now. However, the no scalpel vasectomy retained the traditional needle-and-syringe method of delivering anesthetic, so there was still that part of the procedure that could be quite painful.
Later, new groundbreaking technology for delivering the anesthetic came about with the introduction of the jet injection system. Instead of a needle and syringe, the anesthetic is delivered using a needle-less, high pressure injection system which delivers little sprays of anesthetic. through the scrotal skin and into the vas deferens (and is also used to numb the puncture site).
Well, to make a long story short, about the most pain I felt during the entire procedure was about like a rubber band pop (each tiny jet injection felt exactly like this). I was numb pretty quick, and the actual procedure was completely painless. I was a bit sore immediately after the anesthetic wore off, but I recovered quite quickly from it. In fact, I went for a 5-mile run the very next morning, I was feeling that good. All in all, it was no big deal.
After I finally got back on the operating table, I was in-and-out in about 30 minutes, with the actual procedure only taking about 10 minutes. The other time was prep/sterilization, and then the immediate post-op observation to make sure everything was OK and that I wasn’t having any serious immediate complications. All in all, it was not that big of a deal.
In that light, I would highly recommend the no needle, no scalpel vasectomy to anyone considering vasectomy. Seek out a urologist near you who performs this procedure, as it will minimize the discomfort of the procedure. Of course, you might run into similar problems if you’re childfree that you would with other urologists who offer other vasectomy techniques, but it’s worth it, even if you have to drive a ways to have it done. My thinking is that it will be standard vasectomy practice a decade or so from now because of how quickly it’s gaining popularity.
For Part 1 of this two-part blog entry, go here: https://coolchildfreeguy.wordpress.com/2011/12/12/breeder-bs-part-1/
We pick up the little exchange I was talking about in the previous blog here. There was just too much for one blog entry.
“lmao oh im sorry didnt realize i was writing a essay for my professor.. if im a breeder than your mother is a breeder she spread her disgusting legs just like everybody else ! but then again who am i ? right … please im sorry that my life isnt revolved around bowling .. im sorry that you think you’re my english professor .. im sorry you suck at life .. im mean i could go on and on but then again why should i ? you’re just another sad soul walking the earth .. im not intolerate of other people .. im intolerate of rude people going around saying what they please and thinking no one should say anything. how about this mr.webster kiss my breeder ass and get a life =*”
Yeah, I suck at life because I busted my ass and landed my dream job, I have a great social life, and I actually made somebody out of myself? How cute. If anyone sucks at life it’s this bitch. She’s already admitted that her kid is her life. Yeah, some life that must be if you have to have a kid to have any sort of fulfillment in your life.
She calls me intolerant yet she’s the one that attacked me out of the blue? Yeah, she sure is tolerant of the childfree, I can tell by the tone of her comments. If that’s tolerant then I don’t know what her definition of intolerance is!
I might not be her English professor, but it’s really hard to take someone seriously when they can’t even form coherent sentences or use proper grammar, is it not? I mean seriously, give me a break!
So just about then I struck up an IM conversation with my friend Traci (a frequent commenter here) and linked her to the conversation, which had her in stitches. Of course, she just wanted to jump into the conversation too, so she posted this comment, which I couldn’t agree with more:
“You aren’t imitating Christ very well in your correspondence here. Someone doesn’t agree with you, so your response is to call them all sorts of nasty names, make all kinds of assumptions about their life and level of happiness, and insult their mother. And what is your weird fixation on bowling? He mentions it once and so you decide it means his major reason for not having kids was because he likes to bowl? That’s the most asinine thing I’ve ever read in any Xanga comment, ever. And that’s saying something. I don’t know which denomination you are a part of, but how would you feel if the leader or one of the leaders at your place of worship saw your foul-mouthed, nasty-spirited replies? Or your son? Is this the behavior you set forth for him to imitate? I hope not. And if it is, I hope someone calls CPS.”
Finally, someone besides me speaks some sense on this thread! My friend was spot on with this comment. Not only is this stupid woman apparently making all sorts of random, unwarranted attacks, she isn’t living up to what her religion teaches. She got called out on her hypocrisy and it was about time someone did so. Too bad I don’t know her whereabouts or I’d call CPS on her myself.
Well, so then brainless breeder woman decides she wanted a piece of my friend and responded to her with this:
“lmao really where did you come from ..please i wont even respond to you you’re just as annoying as he is .. and i never claimed to be perfect im sure you have fallen short of the glory as well cps ?? really …. im sorry you’re miss perfect now quit talking to me before you get called a nasty name”
Well, that’s mature. After I explained it to her, she replied to me with this:
“awww you had to bring in your miserable friends because you couldnt handle it .. please both of you guys can kiss my ass .. now you can forward her that =) goodnight”
More baseless assumptions for the win (or the loss, whatever you prefer to think of it as). Assuming that we’re both miserable? Well isn’t that lovely? What an idiot, right?
That was about the last of the interesting bits of the exchange right there, though. From there it devolved into repeating more of the same stuff and into more of a religious argument than anything, in which she denied claiming to be a Christian (I have the evidence that she most certainly did) and telling me how childish I am (calling me a preschooler) because I said I loved my job more than I would love hers. It was at this point I got really bored with her stupidity and decided it was time to stop feeding the troll (not to mention I had to report for a regularly scheduled flight basically right after I was done with her). It was amusing for awhile though, I have to admit.
My friend (who is also an atheist, I should mention), however, continued to dialog with her and point out how un-Christlike she was being in her dialog with us. This just roused her anger even more, until breeder woman said she “had a term paper to finish” and bid her goodnight. Likely excuse which I don’t buy for a second. I think she was just embarrassed that she got her ass handed to her on a silver platter and was looking for an excuse to slink off in shame.
Man, what is this world coming to? I fear for the future of the human species. We’re getting dumber with each generation, I swear! People wonder why I support breeding licenses, and this is why right here. This woman probably isn’t even smart enough to put gas in her car (either that or she was too busy huffing the fumes as she was doing so). Perhaps the makers of the movie Idiocracy were on to something after all.
At any rate, I hope you got a kick out of this whole ordeal. Feel free to share your experiences in heated exchanges with mindless breeders in the comments. I’m really interested in hearing about them!
I was recently confronted by a Bible-thumping Christian breeder on another blog site I blog at (more of a personal-type blog), and a blogger by the name of “camsmom” had this to say about me:
“you really are a sad human being ! never in my life have i ever heard someone say the most rediculous things that you say .. you seem like a pretty smart person but you’re so miserable i really feel bad for you … birth is a miracle .. children are blessings from GOD whether or not you agree who cares .. youre a nobody just a miserable soul waiting for his turn to die. i really feel sorry for you .. im sorry that you dont know GOD who does exist ! ill definitely pray for you because you clearly need it … better yet you need prayer and a straight jacket because you’re clearly insane”
Aww, how precious, right? I couldn’t help but laugh my head off as I read this very angry, incoherent rant. Quite frankly if this speaks to the intelligence level that most of today’s breeders are at, it’s no wonder I support mandated intelligence testing and breeding licensing! Improper and excessive use of ellipses, terrible grammar, capitalization, spelling and punctuation all add up to a very uneducated individual!
You feel sorry for me, do you lady? Yeah, you really should. While you’re attending to your snotty nosed brat, I’m out bowling three nights per week, dancing the Lindy Hop every week, devoting more time to my career, and actually using my sick pay for me. That’s not including the fact that I’m keeping more of my hard-earned income than you are, and can actually afford to buy nice things for myself. I don’t have to stay awake in the middle of the night to feed my little one or change a shit-filled diaper. Quite frankly I’m the one who feels sorry for you!
I don’t know what me being an atheist has to do with anything either. Did I anger you when I said that pregnancy and birth were far from miraculous or divine? Sorry, but religion aside, they’re both natural biological processes that are far from miracles. Sperm meets egg, the zygote divides, and 9 months later you push that thing out. That’s simple biology at work. There’s absolutely nothing miraculous about it! Didn’t you ever take high school biology? I’m assuming you didn’t with your obvious lack of education (which is apparent in your writing skills) because you’d know this if you did.
Oh yes, breeder woman, I’m so incredibly insane. Are all people who don’t want kids insane according to you? Must be with the way you’re talking! Though I think the ability to form coherent sentences and think logically about how my life would change in a negative way if I had kids hardly qualifies me as insane. If anyone is insane it’s you.
So I responded to her basically pointing out that she was totally wrong, and she had this to say in return:
“lmao first and foremost i could careless what you think about me. im not the immature miserable moron walking around spreading my negativity .. my son is my life and the fact that you’ll never be able to experience that is quite sad. and if my sentence structure bothers you that bad BITE ME ! i mean really and if your life is so carefree and wonderful why are you on a christian website running your mouth? shouldn’t you be out “bowling” please you’re a moron and im sorry your life is so miserable. the fact that you get off downing people really shows your own personal insecurities awwww whats wrong hun mommy didnt hug you enough?? lol you need to be evaluated by a licensed professional .. i only hear about people like you ..low lives that have nothing better to do than spread non sense .. it’s been a pleasure meeting you .. now i can cross ” meeting a evil douche bag on the net” off of my bucket list ! enjoy your misery mr.lonely”
Yeah, if your son is your life you really need to get a life! Sounds to me like you don’t have a life at all! Waking up in the middle of the night to feed your kid, change his shit-filled diaper, among other parental duties? Yeah, sounds like the parent life is a great one! (end sarcasm.)
She completely ignored me when I told her my life was not miserable. As I said, I have my dream job, hobbies I enjoy, among other things. I most certainly am NOT miserable. I’d say I have a better life than her, actually. There’s a reason that it’s been statistically shown that the childfree are happier than the breeder brigade, after all. Hmm, I wonder why? Could it be because I don’t have little snotty nosed brats running around and trashing my house?
I also love how she just had to insult my mother and blame her on my not wanting children. If only she knew what a great mom my mother was to me. I regard her as one of the most influential and important people in my life. My mother is also one of the biggest supporters of my childfree decision. She fully respects the fact that it’s my life and she doesn’t really care about having grandchildren all that much. She just wants me to be happy, and for that reason I love her.
Finally, the post I commented on initially wasn’t necessarily Christian in nature. It might have been posted within the context of a Christian forum, but it was not Christian per se. I felt I had room to interject an opinion there.
Five minutes later she added this little statement, and it was probably the most hilariously stupid remark I’ve ever heard in my life:
” and if going bowling is what made you not want kids .. then you’re more pathetic than i thought”
Ha! I swear I laughed for a good 20 minutes straight after I read that statement. I didn’t take up bowling until long after I made the decision to not have kids (in fact, I only took it up as a hobby a couple of months ag0). Well, whatever you want to think woman.
So I told her off again, and she takes another shot at me:
“not insulting your mother im insulting you i think you’re an idiot who needs some serious help i find it funny that you defend your mother but yet you call other people names who bare children so if im a breeder than what does that make mommy dearest? lol i see i hit a nerve … my life is very fulfilled .. i dont give 2 shits what statistics say im very much content with my life. i work full time i go to shcool fulltime and i raise my son .. oh and surprise surprise i have a social life that doesnt involve bowling lol… and you’re absolutely right your personality sucks ! im so happy you realize it and accept it .. have a goodnight next time be more careful on who you choose to attack”
Yeah, it’s very clear to me that you don’t live a fulfilling life, because if you did you wouldn’t be needing to defend your lifestyle to a childfree person on a thread that was already almost a month old by the time you replied to me! Yeah, I know better than that. You’re just another regretful breeder that wishes you would have thought twice about having a kid. I see right through your smokescreen.
It’s also very clear this person doesn’t understand the distinction we in the childfree community make between parents and breeders. My mother was/is a parent, and a damn good one at that. This woman is very clearly a breeder who apparently also has shit for brains.
I have trouble taking her claim that she goes to school full-time seriously. If she did go to school full-time she’d be able to use proper sentence structure. She’d also be able to capitalize, punctuate, and spell correctly. If she turned in a term paper written in the style of her comments she’d get laughed out of the classroom by the teacher. I don’t know why she thinks such talk is acceptable here.
I also find it hilarious that she says I should be careful who I attack. I don’t think I was the one attacking her here. She decided to come up out of the blue and lay into me! I think she’s the one who attacked me. Oh the irony of it all! Oh, and apparently my social life sucks because I like to go bowling. How lovely!
Well, this is already getting a bit lengthy, so I’m going to stop this here. We’ll post the conclusion of this lovely dialog in the next post, because it just gets better and better!