Continuing the Family Name

Now here’s something that childfree men are especially faced with. A lot of people will try to guilt-trip the childfree man into having children for the sake of passing on the father’s family name, and especially if he’s the only male child in the family. Personally, I think it’s a really ridiculous reason to have children.

I am in fact the only male child in my family, the oldest of three siblings. I have two younger sisters, one of whom has also chosen not to have children. My youngest sister can’t wait to have kids herself, so of the three of us she’s the only one that’s going to be having them. Even that gives an avenue for continuing the family name, though. She could keep her last name when she marries (who says you have to change your name?) and then give that name to her kids. There are no hard and fast rules about that.

In Mexico where I currently live, women keep their last names upon marriage, and the children are given both last names. In that way both the maternal and paternal grandfathers’ names get passed down in that way. So there’s another avenue to continue family names.

All that’s to say though: what’s in a name? I never understood why people were so attached to their names that they had to reproduce to continue it. It’s just a name! There’s nothing special about it, it’s just a personal identifier. Nothing more than that.

I wouldn’t be passing down my father’s name anyway, whether I had kids or not. I’m currently in a legal proceeding to change my last name to my mother’s maiden name. My father was a bona fide asshole until the day he died and as much as I hate to say it I don’t miss him one damn bit. I didn’t even so much as cry one little tear when he died and I still haven’t shed a single tear over his death. So in that way, this reason for having kids isn’t even applicable to me!

So yeah, if you want me to have kids (sorry, not happening even if you did want me to) you’ll have to think of a lot more compelling reason than this. Quite frankly passing on the family name is an extremely selfish and narcissistic reason to have kids, if you ask me. It’s just simply not a valid reason to have kids in my eyes.

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About coolchildfreeguy

Childfree guy living in Mexico City. Professional pilot by day, all-around fun guy by night.

Posted on December 6, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. I agree. It’s really short-sighted, selfish, and narcissistic to have children so that you can dress them up like dolls, have someone to love you (I’ve heard this before, many times), or to pass on your surname. If you want to have kids, at least think up good reasons, not selfish and childish ones. Anyone who has kids because of these reasons really is NOT mature enough to be charged with the care of an infant or the raising of a child.

  2. Basically I agree with that, however, the desire of having children may be drived from the desire to not only letting your surname go forth, but to give, to teach something to your child. Have you ever had that kind of desire? If so, was it hard to get over it, or have you found anything to replace that?

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