Song Parody: “The Vasectomy Song” (NSFW)

If it’s one thing I really enjoy writing it’s song parodies. I’m not very good at it, but I get a good kick out of it anyway. So one day I had my playlist on random and “The Swimming Song” by Loudon Wainwright III came on. It’s a fun song, and that’s when it hit me there was a childfree/vasectomy themed parody in there. For those who haven’t heard the song, here it is:

So I was so inspired to write the parody. I’ve done some revisions to it, and it’s sort of a comical look at the procedure, sex, and some of what makes parenting a royal pain in the ass. As I said in the title, this post really is NSFW. Alas, here are the lyrics, enjoy (sorry, you can’t hear me sing them; trust me, you don’t want to hear me sing).

This summer I got a vasectomy
This summer I got clipped!
So I couldn’t have any kids and
I won’t have to deal with that shit.
I won’t have to deal with that shit!

This summer I saw the urologist
And had him fix me up!
Anethesia in my vas, blood on the gauze but
No sperm in my ducts.
So sperm in my ducts!

This summer I got sterilized
And you know that that’s not all!
I had sex and I shot a blank
No listening to a baby bawl.
No listening to a baby bawl!

This summer I got ’em cut
Cauterized and tied toboot!
So now I can fuck and my dick
Doesn’t have to wear a suit.
Doesn’t have to wear a suit!

This summer I had the big v
Sex has never been more hyper!
Cause there’s no whining, no crying, no nagging
No changing a shitty diaper.
No changing a shitty diaper!

This summer I got a vasectomy
This summer I got clipped!
So I couldn’t have any kids and
I won’t have to deal with that shit.
I won’t have to deal with that shit!

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About coolchildfreeguy

Childfree guy living in Mexico City. Professional pilot by day, all-around fun guy by night.

Posted on December 7, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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