Conversation With A Childed Friend

So one of my childed friends and I were talking the other day about how people seem to really ostracize the childfree. She doesn’t seem to get it either. Like many younger women, she was a fencesetter and wound up pregnant despite being on birth control (hey, it does happen). Though she admittedly has no regrets, she is one of the biggest supporters of my choice to be childfree.

Here’s what she had to say about the childfree way of life:

“I’m pretty sure if I’d not been knocked up we would have put off kids forever, haha.  I can totally see a quality of living without kids that is very appealing to me!  Traveling, saved money (kids are ridiculously expensive!), careers, etc.  THAT sounds much better than raising kids.”

I have to say I totally admire her honesty here. She’s openly admitted to something that most parents won’t. Kids are expensive, they are time consuming, and they become your life. Those big plans you had to travel the world? Buy an expensive car? All those things are gone once you have a child.

We later talked a bit about my vasectomy, and she had this to say:

“I think you made a very responsible decision. Should you ever fall in love and for some bizarre and unthinkable reason ever want kids, you do have options for reversal, though I think the odds are against you at fertility later.  But like I said, why anyone would ever want to reverse it is beyond me!”

Hey, I feel you! Though if I ever did decide later on down the road I wanted a child, I’d opt for adoption. There are way too many kids out there who don’t have good, loving homes that I would feel bad for bringing another child into this already overpopulated world. Apparently one is enough for her as well, as her husband is also considering vasectomy at this point.

I have to admit, I found her honesty in this conversation incredibly refreshing. Hearing it first-hand from someone who has a child further validates my decision to not have children. Though she has no regrets and wouldn’t take it back for anything, she admits had she not gotten knocked up she’d probably have never had kids. What’s done is done, though, and I’m glad she enjoys her life as it is. It’s just good to hear that there are parents out there who do support the childfree choice and understand why it’s such an appealing lifestyle to so many people.

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About coolchildfreeguy

Childfree guy living in Mexico City. Professional pilot by day, all-around fun guy by night.

Posted on December 11, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. “Kids are expensive, they are time consuming, and they become your life. Those big plans you had to travel the world? Buy an expensive car? All those things are gone once you have a child.”

    I think this is one of the main points parents don’t think about enough. The days when there were benefits to having children are long gone. There used to be a lot more rural living and children could help with the farm. Now……it’s hundreds of thousands of dollars invested with absolutely no guarantee of any kind of return. Why would a sane person do it?

    I actually think I could raise well rounded children, earn enough to provide for them, and take the time and energy to make sure they had a happy childhood. The problem is I still can’t think of a reason to do so. Every dollar on diapers could be going to my savings, every hour at teeball practice could be spent on my career, every hour of sleep I miss because of crying could be spent actually sleeping.

    I’m sure most parents love their children, but they would have a much more interesting life without them.

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