Why Do People Have Kids?

You know, the more I think about this, trying to understand my childed friends (which I still don’t, by the way) I’ve slowly started conjuring a new theory as to why people have kids. I seriously think I’m right about this, because of the way most parents act. They act like being a parent pains them. Hence this new theory.

I’ve come to the conclusion that most people probably don’t want kids, but have them for other reasons and try to justify their choice (or accident, whichever the case may be) by saying they wanted their kid. I think most people probably have kids either because they feel some sort of pressure (usually familial, societal, or religious) to have kids, or because the kid was a result of an accidental pregnancy.

Of course, when faced with the reality of what having a kid entails, who’d really want that? Given the tremendous expense of raising a kid (last estimate I heard was $226,920 over the course of 18 years – source), your personal and social life going out the window, dealing with temper tantrums and changing diapers, raging hormones, among other things, I don’t understand who would want anything to do with parenting. There are no real benefits to having kids, so they have to justify their choice through other means.

Now, ask parents what they think and they won’t admit it. Just like if you ask someone who just bought a new car they’ll tell you they love it, even if they really don’t. It’s called buyer’s remorse, and it’s no different in the parenting world. I’ve talked to countless parents who regret having children, and even more that say whereas they don’t outright regret it, if they had to do it over again they wouldn’t have children. These I think are the honest ones of the bunch. I’m pretty good at spotting buyer’s remorse, and the ones who go on and on about how great their kids are? It’s pretty obvious to me those are the ones suffering from serious buyer’s remorse (or parent’s remorse, in this case).

Who knows, though. Maybe I’m wrong. I’m just going by observations. I’m not a psychologist but I can read people pretty well, and it leads me to this conclusion.


About coolchildfreeguy

Childfree guy living in Mexico City. Professional pilot by day, all-around fun guy by night.

Posted on December 23, 2011, in Childfree, Parenting. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. I love the term Parent’s Remorse. I hope I can get your permission to use it. This is something I’ve suspected all along. Many of my own observations of the childed result in the same hypothesis: they didn’t really WANT a child and atone for this by being over zealous and idealistic with their brood.

    It really makes me scratch my head when a university educated woman who has traveled, done many significant things in her life and can put together ANY IKEA furniture suddenly starts posting ONLY about her offspring and the overt joys of motherood. Sketchy.

  2. I’m pretty sure some people gave you more acceptable reasons for having a child, for example giving their knowledge to somebody / having a kid to carry on the intellectual or material heritage of the parents, like beliefs, traditions. I’m a bit short on those experiences, since I just started my exploration in this topic, so if you could share any oppinions or reasons you encountered, is valuable to me. Or simply just link another post of yours, since I only finished reading your posts of 2011 šŸ™‚

  1. Pingback: “What If You Fall In Love With Someone Who Wants Kids?” « Cool Childfree Guy

  2. Pingback: Childfreedom and Religion « Cool Childfree Guy

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