Why Having Children Is Selfish

If it’s one thing that the childfree get called all the time it’s selfish. Whether our choice to not have children has to do with having more money, more time to ourselves, more time for our careers, or whatever the case may be, yes I suppose our choice can sound selfishly motivated. There is absolutely no denying that fact. However, in another light, I contend that having children is an equally, if not more selfish choice than the choice to not have children.

So let’s get down to this simple reasoning: who decided for you that you were going to have children? It was you yourself. Don’t try to blame it on your parents who “forced” you into it (you can make your own choices) and don’t try to blame it on the fictitious being known as “God” (if you’re a slave to your religion you’re stupid). YOU were the one that decided that you would bring children into this world. Your children had absolutely no say in the matter. You just pushed them right out (or provided the sperm) without consulting them in the process. You had children because YOU chose that to satsify YOUR OWN desires in life. Your children did not choose to be born for themselves. Therefore your choice is selfishly motivated.

Now, as for why it would be more selfish than the alternative, think about this. This world is a cruel, mean place and life is rough. How selfish is it to subject a new human being to the cruelty and meanness of this world just because you wanted a child in the home? How selfish is it to make another person endure this difficult thing called life just because you wanted a miniature human being? When you look at it both ways, you see very clearly that having a child is in fact a very selfish decision.

Now, that’s not to say that making selfish decisions is inherently bad. We are by nature selfish creatures. The least we can do is admit that most, if not all, of the decisions we make concerning our own lives have selfish motivations at their very root.

So yes, I do admit my choice to not have children is a selfish one. I very much enjoy the additional money, free time, and time for my career that a childfree lifestyle permits me. However, I think it’s time that parents put away this accusation they love to hurl at the childfree and realize that they’re being equally selfish in choosing to have children. One way or another, it’s a selfish choice, so it’s one half dozen or the other.


About coolchildfreeguy

Childfree guy living in Mexico City. Professional pilot by day, all-around fun guy by night.

Posted on February 5, 2012, in Childfree, Parenting. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Well said, I think it’s more of a survival instinct at this point for many childfree people. With the unstable economy, skyrocketing education and healthcare costs, and just a somewhat dark period in time right now, I think a lot of people are worrying about their own finances and how this whole economic crisis is solved. A smart person that doesn’t know if they’ll have income next year, or is barely surviving now, won’t tack on a $250,000 bundle of “joy”.

  2. turncoatArbitrator

    There are some people who genuinely don’t have the choice to not reproduce. Rape is a thing, as is lack of access to birth control (including abortion) and sexual education. It would be cleanly simple to blame all parents as having made a choice, but not all of them did.

    I would argue that having children is far more selfish than not having children, not that it’s equally selfish. It’s one thing to do a nice thing for yourself. It’s quite another to do a nice thing for yourself AT THE EXPENSE OF SOMEONE ELSE!

    I don’t hate parents, I am just tired of them making more of themselves.

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