The “Price” Of Being CF?

So, I got into a heated debate (you could almost call it a flame war) with someone who was whining and crying about the new mandate in the States that requires insurance companies to cover contraception in their health insurance plans (yes, it was a Roman Catholic who’s whining about her beloved “Church” being forced to provide coverage, to which I say get the fuck over it because how long have you imposed Christianity on Americans through anti-choice laws [until 1973], anti-gay rights laws, etc.?). I brought up the fact that whether or not she realizes it, there are couples who just do not want to have children for whatever reason, and that should those couples end up with a kid they’d be crappy parents because they wouldn’t have the desire to pour their lives out for their kids.

Well discourse continued for awhile, where she ripped me to shreds about the CF choice, but ultimately decided that she “respected” people’s choice to be CF (on which I call obvious bullshit), but that their choice came with a “price.” That’s when my jaw dropped almost all the way to the floor.

I can’t think of any price that being childfree comes with. The only price I can think of comes with the territory of having children. With the sticker price on a child being almost a quarter of a million US equivalent, all the countless hours you’re going to have to sacrifice, giving up your sick time to take care of the kid instead of using it for yourself, and even giving up many of your hobbies (or at the very minimum, reducing the amount of time you spend on them), having a kid comes with a HUGE price.

Conversely, let’s look at the “price” of being CF. You save all that money and time to use on yourself. You’re able to be more independent, buy things you wouldn’t otherwise be able to afford. So what “price” is there? Not passing on your family name? Well, it’s really narcissistic to think passing on your family name is that important. Not having someone to “take care of you when your old?” What the hell is the matter with you? Take care of your goddamn self! Why do you even want someone taking care of you? That’s no way to live (quite frankly I’d rather die if it came to that).

Well, whatever. If there’s some other price I’m not seeing please enlighten me, because to me it’s just not there. You gotta love them breeders, most of them are so full of shit that it’s not even funny.

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About coolchildfreeguy

Childfree guy living in Mexico City. Professional pilot by day, all-around fun guy by night.

Posted on March 24, 2012, in Careers, Parenting. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Sounds like she’s grasping at straws. Anyway, the mandate came with a compromise so that women still get coverage for their contraception and the employer doesn’t have to foot the bill. But, aside from that, sorry dudes…hospitals and orphanages and other shit shouldn’t be exempt just because the employer is religious. There’s precedent for that, too, in SCOTUS rulings. Hospitals, orphanages, etc are in the secular sphere even if they’re being run by the religious or by churches. The mandate itself NEVER had anything to do with churches themselves, though. The First Baptist Church in my home town will never, and never would have, had to cover contraception for their employees under the mandate. But, when churches branch out into non-church territory they are not exempt from the secular laws and must work within them, whether those laws are made with them in mind or not. And that is enshrined by SCOTUS and has been for a long time. Ask the conservative darling Antonin Scalia…he’s the one that did it.

    As for the nonsense about CF coming with a price, like I said she’s grasping at straws. ESPECIALLY if she’s bringing up people not having someone to take care of them when they’re old and too feeble of body and mind to wipe their faces. This is a reality we all face, eventually if we don’t die first we will get to that second childishness stage in our lives. It happens. But, having children is no guarantee WHATSOEVER that you will have someone to take care of you. How many grown kids are there that don’t give a shit and just let their parents rot in a house and never check on them until someone calls the cops due to a funny smell in the neighborhood? Too many. And even more than that, some grown kids park their parents in a nursing home and NEVER come to visit them and let the insurance and other shit take care of those nursing home bills.

    Having someone to take care of you when you get old is also something people trot out when they don’t like the idea of someone who doesn’t want to get married or have a long-term partner. They ask you what you will do when you’re old and alone and have no one to take care of you. Why should I assume that I would not be old and alone even if I chose a long-term partner or a husband? Maybe I had one and he died. Maybe I had one and he didn’t die, but decided to just get rid of my ass so I wouldn’t be a burden to him anymore and parked me in a nursing home. Those things happen, too.

    The only price that comes with being CF is all that nonsense we have to listen to from breeders who think it’s their business to tell us how to run our lives, who feel the need to insist that there’s something wrong with us, and who insist on making up crazy reasons as to why everyone else has to live their life the same way said breeders chose to live theirs. The only other price that comes with it is that we have to suffer through ridiculous laws that make it easier on breeders and harder on CF people. Laws and mindsets that say that people who are CF need to make less money than people who have children, that when we are injured or sick we need less benefits than childed people, that we need to wait in line longer, and that we have to jump through higher and more fiery hoops to get those benefits than childed people. There is a price to pay for being CF, but it’s entirely mandated by a society that thinks that women should be broodmares for the government, or that men have to conform to some weird idea of what a man ought to be. And while that effects women and men who are not CF, it also effects women and men who are CF for reasons of being CF.

    But, the prices that she was talking about are moral or obligational in nature or some other such form. Those prices do NOT exist. They are made up nonsense to guilt us into becoming breeders, or otherwise insult our intelligence because it assumes we’re too stupid to figure out what they’re trying to do or that we’re too stupid to know what we want. The only prices that exist are artificial and are there solely because CF people do not conform to the image society has of people, or of the individual sexes and those are not set in stone and do not have to stay in place. Those can change. And with enough push, they will.

  2. Excellent post and excellent response by cynicalv….if I do need “help” when I’m old, the same people that will take care of me are the same people that will take care of most people with kids….the staff @ the nursing home

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