I Support A Man’s Right To Choose

Now, before I get going, no, I’m not talking about abortion directly here. I fully support a woman’s right to choose to either carry to term or terminate a pregnancy, and I don’t believe anyone else on the face of the planet has any right to tell her what to do with her own body in that regard. That’s not what this is about. Rather, this is about giving men sort of a “separate but equal” option so to speak.

Women are (correctly, I might add) given sole authority in what happens to their body during pregnancy. They don’t need anyone else’s consent to have an abortion (not even that of the father of the child), as well they should not be required to (with the exception of under-18s in some places, which I’m also against requiring parental consent). That said, with such power should come responsibility. If the man wants nothing to do with the kid but she decides to keep it, it’s simply her burden and nobody else’s. As it is, the law doesn’t really work this way in most countries.

I don’t know much about child support laws in my home country, but the States where I’m originally from has child support laws that are stacked in favor of women and men are left hung out to dry. Men everywhere in the States and several other countries are stuck paying child support to children they want nothing to do with and completely waived any and all parental rights to. This doesn’t happen is 100% of cases (it seems to be up to the judge deciding the case whether or not to terminate child support payments) but it SHOULD happen in 100% of cases.

When a woman has an abortion she’s absolving herself of any and all financial and parental responsibility for that potential child. When a man signs over his rights, he’s just absolved of the latter. That doesn’t automatically absolve him from financial responsibility. This is wrong, and in this way, the law gives women way too much power.

For the record, I believe it goes the other way too. If the man wants the child, the woman doesn’t, but for whatever reason she chooses to carry to term and give sole custody over to the father and thus sign over her rights, I don’t think the father should be entitled to child support either, because now that child is HIS burden.

You might be saying “you’d believe differently if this happened to you.” Well, guess what? This exact thing did in fact happen to me, and I’m just going to go ahead and spill the beans about this, as I don’t tell many people this. My biological father never wanted anything to do with me. When he got my mother pregnant with me (this was her 2nd pregnancy with him, she aborted the first one) he walked out. His brother being the big-shot lawyer he was, drafted up a document that said he agreed to surrender parental rights in exchange for my mother not collecting child support. She agreed to the terms. I’ve not talked to my biological father but a few times, and I don’t even know if he’s still alive or what he’s up to these days. Do I hold anything against him? Absolutely not. I hold no grudges or hard feelings toward the man, and if he ever decides he wants a father-son relationship with me, the door is wide open. He doesn’t seem to want that, though.

Of course, in the meanwhile I was left to be raised by my evil step-father who I hated with every fiber of my being. I’d have rather had no father figure than him. He’s the one I’ll forever hold several grudges against. He didn’t come into the picture until several years later and I wish he had never.

So yeah, a man’s right to choose whether or not he wishes to pay child support. That’s what I’m in favor of. Of course, if he chooses not to he should be required to completely surrender all parental rights (including visitation, claiming the child as a dependent on taxes, and everything else), but I think that’s a fair trade-off. No man should be stuck paying child support to a child he surrenders all rights to, and it happens way too much.

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About coolchildfreeguy

Childfree guy living in Mexico City. Professional pilot by day, all-around fun guy by night.

Posted on June 4, 2012, in Childfree, Law, Parenting, Relationships. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. The only thing is how to deal with when the guy says he’s going to help out and then bolts. Then the woman may have missed an opportunity to abort but didn’t. What are your thoughts on that?

    • In that case I think the woman should go through with the abortion if that was her initial plan and then be able to sue the man for the cost of the abortion.

      If it’s too late for that perhaps she should be able to sue for emotional distress or something. Yes, he should pay for having cold feet, but in punitive damages rather than ongoing child support.

  2. I completely support this.

  3. Touche, sir, touche! I totally agree with the financial absolving aspect, I never thought of that before.

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