“What If You Change Your Mind?”

OK, fine, I’ll bite on this one and feed the troll. Quite frankly I’ll never change my mind as I have felt the same way about children and not wanting them since I was a little kid myself (I never in my life have wanted children), but just for grins and giggles let’s say for whatever reason I *DID* change my mind. What would I do?

Well, the first option many would suggest is vasectomy reversal, but that definitely isn’t happening. I’ve already subjected my junk to enough trauma for a lifetime, I don’t need any more. Besides, vasectomy reversal is ridiculously expensive and only works about half the time anyway, so it’s an expensive yet not very realistic option. Strike that.

Rather, I see absolutely no reason to add to the ever-growing overpopulation problem myself. There are already way too many children in foster homes, orphanages, or in government custody that need good homes. That’s where I would go. I don’t have the time or desire to care for babies, so I wouldn’t adopt a baby. Everyone wants to adopt babies anyway, and nobody gives a second thought to adopting older children. It works the same way with human babies as it works with pets. The puppies/kittens go fast, the adult dogs/cats usually wind up getting put down because nobody wants them. Sad, but true.

So, in the astronomically small chance I do change my mind, I feel I would be doing the greatest good by adopting an older child instead of having children biologically or adopting a baby, and that’s the route I’d take.

Of course, keep in mind this is a hypothetical situation with a 99.999% chance of never happening, so don’t ever count on it happening. 😉

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About coolchildfreeguy

Childfree guy living in Mexico City. Professional pilot by day, all-around fun guy by night.

Posted on June 19, 2012, in Childfree, Parenting. Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. Great answer!

    I don’t understand why this never seems to occur to people. They always ask this question, like it’s awful that you might end up, for whatever reason, unable to have a child of your own because you either waited too long or had sterilization surgery done and then change your mind and can’t have one. That only means you can’t have one of that shares your DNA. It doesn’t mean you can’t adopt. There are options beyond having your own kid. I don’t know why that seems to slip people’s minds so often.

    They also seem to be thinking that you childfree people have not thought of this before, either, that they may one day change their mind. We’re fully capable of thinking for ourselves, something else people often seem to forget. I don’t think any childfree person has ever heard the question, “what if you change your mind?” and then suddenly went, “omg you’re right!! I never thought of that! I will change my ways immediately!”

  2. I remember once giving the same hypothetical answer to this question. The first response was, “but, those kids are so messed up!”

    Er…that would kind of be a large point of the point. As you say, no one wants these children. Whilst I’m all for a person’s individual choices and agency, it annoys me that do many people fork out for IVF (or get it, sometimes, on the NHS over here!) when there’s messed up young people out there that really need someone to give a shit.

    OK, so taking care of a ‘problem’ child would be hard work – but, you know, children full stop are hard work, so…

    Anyway, I loathe the fact that this question is so prevalent. Why is it so hard for those who wish to procreate to accept some of us don’t? They may not understand our choices, but since we can’t understand theirs, I’d say we’re pretty equal.

    My best to you

    Karen 🙂

  3. Lol, great typo I made. “…you childfree people…” That’s what I get for changing part of a sentence and not rereading it. The “you” isn’t supposed to be there, obviously.

  4. I have four brothers & sisters. Between them, they have 15 kids. That’s more than enough to overcompensate for any that I might’ve had. Being an uncle (great uncle now, as it happens) suits me just fine: wind ’em up, let ’em go 🙂

  5. Slate has been running a good article series lately on why people are choosing the CF life.
    http://www.slate.com/authors.double_x_staff.html

  6. Although I do not wish to have children, I have also always thought, “Well, in the incredibly tiny chance that I change my mind, there’s always adoption.” I used to do a lot of research on adoption when I was in graduate school for sociology, although I am not adopted. I have seen firsthand how there are SO MANY babies and children out there who desperately need families and caretakers, and see no need to “make my own.” But the reactions I get when I say this make me question the true motives of parents. Let me explain: I am currently living in conservative Korea where women will even fake pregnancies with pillows because adoption is so stigmatized… In which case, it seems like those who cannot understand the childfree are NOT really advocating parenting so much as they are advocating the maintaining of bloodlines, i.e. the importance of having *oneself* reproduced… and this makes me think, “And you call ME selfish for not wanting to have kids?!”

  7. Hey Lynn, it’s Natasha. Anyway you know what’s funny? It’d be much easier for one of us to change our minds than someone to change their mind after they had children ;). Why isn’t it socially acceptable for anyone to tell them “are you sure it’s a good idea” when they want children, or have decided to keep the baby they’ve accidentally created? I think about this a lot, and I’ve read about how so many men regret their lives and are just miserable after they’ve had kids. Even many women feel this way. I honestly think their bitterness towards those of us who are “free” is what makes them so hostile towards us. “You’ll change your mind,” said the other 23-year old girl who’s having a C-section on Monday. I just laughed. I feel so sorry for her.

    • I agree, but who’s Lynn?
      Anyway, I’m in my 30s so a lot of people I grew up with are pregnant, have newborns, etc. I wonder if they’re not up to date with how the economy is doing. I mean even if they can afford it right now, if the economy doesn’t improve, doesn’t that mean their child will have less and less opportunities for summer jobs, a decent career, etc. once they’re older? It’s pretty much a guarantee these days a younger person will need financial help through a great portion of their 20s, maybe even 30s. Successful lawyers, doctors, and other professionals can probably easily afford that, but I’m not sure about the average worker. So am I wrong to think it’s a horrible time to pop out more people?

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