“So, Why Don’t You Want Kids?”

I get asked this question all the time. I think it’s a perfectly legitimate question. So, here’s a list of reasons I don’t want children, and quite frankly the list seems to be getting longer by the day (as if it wasn’t long enough already).

1) Children are expensive. Raising one child from birth to age 18 costs over a quarter of a million dollars US (Source). By the time you add college on top of that, the cost goes up to over $300,000! So an average household that has three kids can expect to spend almost $1 million raising their little “bundles of joy.” I don’t know about you, but I can think of a whole lot better things to do with $1 million than raising children!

2) Children are annoying as fuck. Whining, crying, temper tantrums, nasally, high-pitched voices, can’t leave you alone when you want to be left alone. Who in their right mind wants to put up with that?

3) I’d rather spend time on my hobbies. Ten-pin bowling, disc golf, guitar playing, piping, dancing, distance running. Having a kid would get in the way of all of these and effectively and dramatically reduce the amount of time I could spend on these. I’m not complete without all my hobbies, and that’s all there is to it.

4) I want to travel the world. I’d love to visit the Great Barrier Reef in Australia, go ring peals in England, play pipes in the Edinburgh tattoo, connect with my Japanese ancestry, among a number of other places worldwide. That might even mean relocating on a dime to each of these places for awhile. It’s much easier to do this when you don’t have a kid.

5) My career is pretty much my life. As an ATP with over 3,000 hours flight experience and counting, it’s what I love to do. I do want to work for myself one day as an independent contractor, which of course is a very demanding task. Again, having a child would get in the way of this.

6) Fur babies make better companions. A lot of us childfree folk jokingly say “sure, we have parental instincts as long as you have four legs and a tail.” I’m not different. My dogs and cats (and even my snake, I should say) never rebel against me. Their affection is unconditional. They’ll never hate me, throw a tantrum, or anything of the like. You can’t find that kind of loyalty in a human child.

7) Having children is a more selfish choice than not. Think about it. Did YOU ask to be born? Did your parents consult you before bringing you into this world? Of course not! They made that choice for you because they wanted a miniature them running around the house for their own entertainment. Whether you want to accept the fact or not, that’s exactly why you want kids, too. If that’s not selfish, I don’t know what is.

8) Having children is ethically questionable. Bringing a life into this world invariably causes that life to suffer, as all living beings suffer at some point in their lives. Causing another living being to suffer is unethical. Hence it could be argued very strongly that having children is unethical.

9) I don’t have the right kind of personality. I’m an abrasive, cynical, brash, sarcastic, snarky, narcissistic pain in the ass. Not going to lie and say that’s what I’m not, because it’s what I am. I liken myself to a real-life version of Greg House. Can you see House having children or making a good parent in any capacity? Then what makes you think I’d make a good parent?

10) I have terrible genes. I’m a carrier for (two, as I’ve now found out) autoimmune diseases, though I only officially suffer from one of them (Graves’ Disease) and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. I also have been successfully treated for Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome, a heart condition that’s thought to be genetic (I’m not the only one in my family with it). It would be absolutely cruel to pass on my defective genes to the next generation.

11) I’m not monogamous. Children invariably do best in a monogamous household with two parents of any combination of sexes (M/F, M/M, F/F – and don’t even bring that up, all legitimate research shows that children do just as well with same sex parents as opposite sex parents). As someone who likes to have multiple sexual partners and never stays with any woman for any length of time, it would cause turbulence trying to raise and support children. Not the best of situations. Bringing some other random woman home all the time would mind-fuck any kids I’d have and I know it.

12) Whether or not I’m actually capable of loving another human being is questionable, at best. Some seem to think I can, some think I can’t. I don’t know if I can or not. I’ve never felt an emotion that could be defined clearly as love (in my mind), though I’ve probably felt bits and pieces of it in the past. I do know, however, that I’ve never been “in love,” even in my past relationships. That might sound bad, but it’s the truth.

So there you have it. Those are my reasons for not wanting children. Make what you will of them, and if you try to breeder bingo me, I will delete your comment (and/or not approve your comment). That’s all there is to it.


About coolchildfreeguy

Childfree guy living in Mexico City. Professional pilot by day, all-around fun guy by night.

Posted on July 17, 2012, in Careers, Childfree, Life, Parenting. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. I am monogamous, but apart from 11 and 12, this is absolutely spot on for me too.

    I agree that the question is legitimate – but equally, so is asking a breeder “why do you want children?” I’m by turns amused and enraged by the fact that they take offence at this, patronise me for asking it and are incapable of producing substantive reasons. Things like, “that’s the point of life,” “it’s nature,” “it’s God’s will,” or the perennial turning-around of the query just don’t cut it, I’m afraid.

  2. I pretty much agree. I also think the world is becoming too complex to be fulfilling and enjoyable. If you visit the wrong part of the world, you may be murdered. If you save for retirement, you’ll be robbed with hidden fees. If you talk to your buddies on facebook, your messages will be read by strangers. Those are a few examples. Not to sound too gloomy, but I also think our economic situation, possibly our global situation, seems pretty bleak. I think we have the brain power and abilities to get us back to more prosperous times, but it’s going to be a long, difficult struggle. I’ll choose to spare my kids of having to make sense of this chaos by not having them.

  3. Only 12 reasons? 🙂 I suppose a few of my reasons are on pregnancy and labour and how it destroys your body.

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