Turning The Tables: Why Do You (Parents/Future Parents) Want Kids?
In my entry where I listed out my 12 reasons for not wanting children, a commenter who wishes to remain anonymous mentioned something that I think resonates true for most of us. He/she mentioned that it seems to be perfectly OK for the other side to ask us why we don’t want kids, but heaven forbid we ask them why they want kids.
I never really thought about it or paid much attention to it before, but “anonymous” is right. In the handful of times I’ve asked a parent or someone who wants to be one why they want kids, they went off on me like a swarm of angry Asian Giant Hornets. It’s like “How DARE you ask that question?”
Well, I have to say what’s good for one is good for the other. They hate it when we ask them why they want kids, but it’s A-OK for them to ask why we don’t want them? Uh, earth to breeders! Can you not see the similarities there? Of course, I’m not really bothered when people ask me why I don’t want children, as long as they’re nice about it. So long as they don’t give me the snooty, arrogant attitude we’ve seen too often from the breeder brigade, I’m cool with the question. Just expect me to ask the converse right back when you do.
Both questions are legitimate, I think, and I think it’s good to have to answer these questions. Answering these questions really makes us think deeply about our motives and what we want out of life. Sometimes we may find our motives are misguided. It’s not a bad thing to have to use your brain for a change, as much as people tend to hate using theirs these days.
As those who know me in a more personal way know, the single thing that pisses me off the most is double standards. Of course, in the whole CF vs. Breeder war, double standards are the name of the game, and 99% of the time it’s our opposition that lays down the double standards. This is just one of many. I don’t go for it and neither should anyone else.
The moral of the story? If you’re going to nose into our business, expect us to nose into yours. Period, end of story.