Living Vicariously Through Children
So I was over in ICQ chatting in the 20-something chatroom there (big mistake number one, but I was bored) and I got to talking to this one girl in private chat who seemed pretty cool. We were telling each other about ourselves and whatever, and then I brought up that I was childfree and she seemed shocked. Breeder bingoed me a couple of times, then asked a question I’ve never heard a parent or wannabe parent ask: “Don’t you want to live vicariously through your children?”
Of course, this got me thinking. Are there in fact people who have children just so they can live vicariously through them? You know, those mothers who want toddler beauty pageant queens or those dads who want star peewee football players, all because they weren’t pretty enough to be an adult beauty queen or an NFL superstar?
That’s when I realized that yes, there are parents like there out there, and that I know parents like that! I can’t tell you how many dads I’ve seen force their sons to play the sports they (the dad) likes, not necessarily what the kid is interested in. Same thing with mothers coercing daughters into being beauty queens. Oh, and never mind you got knocked up and weren’t able to go to law school like you hoped to, you can just groom your kid up to be the next big-shot lawyer and do whatever you can to convince him/her that law is the career to go into.
Now, you’ve heard me go on and on about the many selfish reasons parents reproduce, but chalk up another one! I’m sorry you weren’t athletic enough to live your sports dreams, or smart enough to get accepted into medical school. That doesn’t give you any right to force your children to do what you wanted to do.
Going back to the question I was posed for a minute. “Don’t you want to live vicariously through your children?” Well, I don’t have to! You know why? I’m living vicariously through my own eyes! I have an awesome job, a bunch of awesome hobbies, and I get out there and do stuff. I may not be a male model or a professional athlete, but I don’t have to be nor have I ever wanted to be. My life right now is pretty much how I always envisioned it. I can guarantee you this would not be the case if I had chosen the “traditional” route of having kids.
I have to admit, I feel kinda sorry for the parents who think they need to live vicariously through their kids. It just tells me they’re unsatisfied with the way their life panned out. On the other hand, I really don’t feel sorry for them all at the same time, because most of them are not doing anything to better their lives. Whatever the case, it’s wrong to push your kids to do stuff they might not necessarily enjoy just because you enjoy it.