Living Vicariously Through Children

So I was over in ICQ chatting in the 20-something chatroom there (big mistake number one, but I was bored) and I got to talking to this one girl in private chat who seemed pretty cool. We were telling each other about ourselves and whatever, and then I brought up that I was childfree and she seemed shocked. Breeder bingoed me a couple of times, then asked a question I’ve never heard a parent or wannabe parent ask: “Don’t you want to live vicariously through your children?”

Of course, this got me thinking. Are there in fact people who have children just so they can live vicariously through them? You know, those mothers who want toddler beauty pageant queens or those dads who want star peewee football players, all because they weren’t pretty enough to be an adult beauty queen or an NFL superstar?

That’s when I realized that yes, there are parents like there out there, and that I know parents like that! I can’t tell you how many dads I’ve seen force their sons to play the sports they (the dad) likes, not necessarily what the kid is interested in. Same thing with mothers coercing daughters into being beauty queens. Oh, and never mind you got knocked up and weren’t able to go to law school like you hoped to, you can just groom your kid up to be the next big-shot lawyer and do whatever you can to convince him/her that law is the career to go into.

Now, you’ve heard me go on and on about the many selfish reasons parents reproduce, but chalk up another one! I’m sorry you weren’t athletic enough to live your sports dreams, or smart enough to get accepted into medical school. That doesn’t give you any right to force your children to do what you wanted to do.

Going back to the question I was posed for a minute. “Don’t you want to live vicariously through your children?” Well, I don’t have to! You know why? I’m living vicariously through my own eyes! I have an awesome job, a bunch of awesome hobbies, and I get out there and do stuff. I may not be a male model or a professional athlete, but I don’t have to be nor have I ever wanted to be. My life right now is pretty much how I always envisioned it. I can guarantee you this would not be the case if I had chosen the “traditional” route of having kids.

I have to admit, I feel kinda sorry for the parents who think they need to live vicariously through their kids. It just tells me they’re unsatisfied with the way their life panned out. On the other hand, I really don’t feel sorry for them all at the same time, because most of them are not doing anything to better their lives. Whatever the case, it’s wrong to push your kids to do stuff they might not necessarily enjoy just because you enjoy it.


About coolchildfreeguy

Childfree guy living in Mexico City. Professional pilot by day, all-around fun guy by night.

Posted on August 24, 2012, in Careers, Childfree, Parenting. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Unfortunately, I haven’t got the life I wanted, but aside from the fact I don’t want brats anyway, I could never behave like this. How utterly fucking selfish!

    As far as I’m concerned, if you must breed, then let your brats live their own lives, make their own mistakes, find their own path. In many ways it’s selfish to breed at all, but if people must insist upon it, then at least let the kids find their own. “Living vicariously” through them is self-centred and frankly cruel 😐

  2. This comes as absolutely NO surprise to me. I’ve already noticed this trend and it’s a very, very old trend. Children are often born to be dress-up dolls, status symbols, mini-versions of their parents, or just whatever their parents wanted to be themselves but never got the chance or had the chance but never took it. This happens even more often when the mother gets pregnant by accident. One or both parents feel as though they have to give up all of their dreams and ambitions for the child, so the least the child could do for them is to fulfill those dreams themselves so that the parent(s) can live it through them. And they’re often also supposed to be the fall-back in case one or both parents find themselves old and alone or in need of some sort of care. I hear this all the time, “who will take care of you when you’re old??” or whatever. They’re basically meant to be little dolls, little robots, little slaves, or some combination thereof. And what’s more, the parents feel like they’re entitled to treat their kids that way. I think it’s a way of punishing the child for existing in the first place. They feel like they had to have a baby and “give up” so much that their child ought to be expected and forced to reimburse them for that in some way.

  3. I have had this argument with my sister for like 8 years now. She has two kids, whom i adore – i will not deny it, but it is because i can go home or to my own life without them. The reason why she had kids is the same: so they would take care of you when u are old. It sickens me that u expect something like that from persons that u choose to bring in this life just because u could have nice elderly life on their expense! My mother is on my back with having relationship and kids for like five years now and she still hopes and has not accepted the fact that she would not have any grandchildren from me…just because kids would come to visit her or call her asking how is she doing? How come u never ask how am i doing when i have to pay your bills or help you out with some homework because u are unemployed or have no muscle power. So I totally support this child free lifestyle and will never understand why we all have to breed when this planet is already overcrowded with stupidity!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: