Monthly Archives: September 2012
Well, in the great wide world of bullshit comes another bullshit quote that I got sent directly to me via email. Yes, folks, sometimes angry breeders just send their angry comments to my email rather than leave them on whatever blog pissed them off, because they know chances are I’m not going to approve their ignorant drivel (heads up: I have to read your incoherent bullshit one way or another, even if I don’t approve it, so I don’t see why you go to the extra trouble!).
Anyway, this breeder bitch who we shall refer to as “Becky” for the purposes of this blog basically told me that she had the “right” and the “responsibility” to bash childfree people because choosing not to have children is “unnatural.” She then goes on a whole religious tirade (no surprise there, eh?) about how God designed the reproductive system for reproduction and to suppress it is to go against God’s divine nature and blah blah blah. Well, if she paid any attention to this blog, she should know that I’m an atheist bordering on antitheist and that said arguments don’t get anywhere with me, so I dismissed her religious tirade altogether. That said, saying that being childfree is “unnatural” really got me, because she (assuming she’s as good of a Christian as she claims to be) partakes in something unnatural as well.
The thing I speak of is something most people probably partake in and have never given it any second thought, but it is in fact unnatural to the human species. It’s so unnatural, in fact, that over half of marriages end in divorce. It’s something so completely contrary to the nature human beings, that infidelity/adultery is rampant across all ethnic backgrounds, religious affiliations, and everything else. What is this thing I speak of? Monogamy, of course!
Yes, folks, whether we want to admit it or not, human beings are not really meant for monogamy. We are polyamorous by our very programming. Yet monogamy seems to be a gold standard so many shoot for and seems to be dictated as more of a “societal norm.” Regardless of what society deems “acceptable” or not, the biological fact remains that human beings are not naturally monogamous. Go figure!
So, my dear Becky, before you start arguing with me about how being childfree goes against anything and everything we are designed to do, take a look at your monogamous marriage, because what you are participating in is in fact unnatural to humans. That’s why your argument that what I do is “unnatural” fails. What was it that Jesus said about before you remove the speck in my eye, first remove the plank from yours? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Check and mate, bitch.
Go run along and play with your little sprogs now, why don’t you? And unless you want me to verbally destroy you on my blog again, I suggest you not send me any more of your religious, unscientific garbage, because I WILL do it and think nothing of it.
I’ve decided to do a few posts about some misconceptions some outsiders seem to have about people who identify as childfree. These will come from a number of sources, be it things that have been said to me personally, comments I’ve read, and a few other sources. Today’s topic will be “boring.”
I’ve read a few comments here and there that suggest that childfree people are boring, and that all we ever do in our downtime is drink, go to the bar, go clubbing, or whatever variation you want thereof. Of course, as you and I know, that’s not the case at all, and we are more exciting people than that.
Well, speaking for myself, I don’t drink so that description does not apply to me at all. I do go to a night club about once per week to show off my less-than-stellar vocal skills at karaoke night, usually as a designated driver (all the free non-alcoholic drinks I want!) and, again, just to sing karaoke. I suck at it, but it’s a ton of fun to do.
So if you were to hang out with me for a day (on Fri-Sun, my days off), what would a day with me be like? We’d probably go rollerblading in the park (or you could just walk with me if you’re too scared to get into a pair of skates), I’d take you to a couple of my favorite local eateries, we’d go bowling together, and take part in some other good, clean, fun activities we agree upon (local band playing somewhere, maybe the community symphony, you know things of those kinds). If you’re real nice to me, I might even take you up flying in like a Cessna 172, and, if you’re even nicer to me, I’d even let you fly the plane for part of the time (as a qualified instructor pilot, I can get away with that!), with me keeping a watchful eye on you of course.
Does that sound like a boring day to you? I didn’t think so! Whereas some CFers idea of “fun” may be sitting around and drinking all day (which I agree that’s EXTREMELY boring!), we’re not all like that. In fact, I’d say that a majority of us are fun-loving people who like to live it up and get out there and have a good time. That’s the true face of the childfree community, right there.
Ah yes, parenthood. The eventual goal all married couples set for themselves, or so society programs people to think. We’ve been told by society time and time again that children are an integral part of any successful marriage, and that couples without children are infertile or whatever, but that they really want children.
Truth be told, as you and I all know, that’s not the case at all and there are couples and individuals (myself included) who make the conscious choice to not have children, and that number is growing. Last time I read, some 20% of married couples are without children, and the most growth has been made in the demographic that makes the choice not to have children (though in a way, you could argue that all 20% of those individuals have made that choice because there are other avenues for infertile couples to have children).
That said, there is a big difference in how people react to the two. If a couple is struggling to get pregnant, the get all the moral support they can find. Conversely, if you tell someone that you’ve made the conscious choice not to have children, you get marginalized.
Childfree people are regularly discriminated against in social circles and in the workplace. In my experience, businesses more readily hire parents than non-parents for reasons that escape me. There’s also the accusation of the childfree choice being selfish (when in reality having children is more selfish), stuck-up, kid-haters (only true in some cases), or whatever other crap they come up with to try to shame those who have chosen to be childfree into having children. There’s also a lot of childfree-shaming that goes on in the parenting community where they talk down to the childfree, insult them, say how bad of people we are, or whatever.
In that light, I have to wonder if childfree is the new gay. Being gay is more accepted now than it used to be but it’s far from universally accepted. Same with childfreedom. I can only hope that society comes around and realizes that childfree people aren’t bad people and that we just have different priorities in life (which are not any more or less valid than their priorities). With time perhaps society at large will become more tolerant toward the CF. Do I expect to see that in my lifetime? Absolutely not, but perhaps in another couple of generations this will all blow over like racial discrimination.
What do you think? Will it ever be considered “acceptable” to remain childfree?
You know, we CFers bitch and moan about children all the time, and how badly behaved today’s kids are, and the cause for bad behavior: shit parents. Well, I saw this video the other day and I was horrified (Warning: NSFW):
Unfortunately, we see behavior like this day in and day out. And breeders wonder why we can’t stand their little crotch droppings. If kids were better behaved, perhaps we wouldn’t be so angry and in favor of brat bans and all that stuff. I don’t think it’d change the fact that we don’t want kids, but we’d be much less irritated with them.
Whatever, maybe there’s some kind of conspiracy going on for parents to make their kids as bad as possible to irritate the shit out of us. Sometimes it seems like it…
Well, here we go again with a bunch of nonsensical BS as to why those who are childfree desire to remain without children. It seems that a lot of people who are pro-parenthood seem to think that the reason we don’t reproduce is because of childhood trauma and not wanting to become like our parents.
Now, am I going to deny that’s not a reason that at least some people would want to remain without children? Absolutely not. I’m sure there are those out there who are afraid of becoming bad parents like their own parents were to them. It’s entirely possible and even reasonable to suspect that a small percentage of the CF community remains without children for that very reason. However, to use it as a sweeping generalization to classify all or even a majority of CF people is, in my opinion, completely dishonest. Truth be told, personally I have NEVER met any childfree person who remained such due to childhood trauma.
Take me, for example. I won’t say I had a great childhood and I had my issues growing up, but I didn’t have a particularly bad or traumatizing childhood either. I don’t speak to my mother anymore, my step-father is dead and I don’t miss him one bit (good riddance), and I’ve never met my biological father, but none of this had anything to do with my upbringing, but rather events that happened later in life after I was already grown up.
The truth of the matter is that none of this has any bearing in my decision to be childfree. I knew I didn’t want children from a very, very early age, and my home life at the time was actually very good. You may have even been able to call me “privileged” at the time. We were living in a poor section of Roswell, New Mexico and I was better off than almost all of my classmates. There goes the assumption I had a bad childhood, eh?
The moral of the story? Never, assume someone’s childfree status is the result of childhood trauma. For that matter, don’t assume anything about someone’s childfree status. We all have our different reasons, each of them are equally valid I think.
I’m a bit late with this, but I suppose it’s better late than never, eh?
Ever since Zeus (my baby Doberman puppy) passed away, I’ve been a total wreck, and in some ways I’m still not over it. I can’t help but wonder what he would have turned out to be like.
Anyway, ever since then I’ve been longing for another Doberman. Well, a couple of weeks ago my search for another Doberman puppy came to an end when I found one in my local animal shelter (lucky find, I know). I initially said “no” because he is docked and cropped (and cropped very badly, I might add, his ears flop over his head like a GSD puppy’s), and I have a preference for natural ears and natural tail (not to mention I’m 100% against docking and cropping and wish they’d just make it illegal already). Anyway, then I got to thinking and you know, he had no say in the matter, why should I hold it against him? It’s always unusual to find breeds normally touted as status symbols in the shelter, so I don’t know what his background was like. Whatever, he needed a home all the same so I brought him home.
He wasn’t what I had in mind, but I have no regrets. He’s an amazing dog. With that, I’d like you to meet my new furry friend Zephyrus:
Isn’t he adorable?