Childhood Trauma and Childfreedom
Well, here we go again with a bunch of nonsensical BS as to why those who are childfree desire to remain without children. It seems that a lot of people who are pro-parenthood seem to think that the reason we don’t reproduce is because of childhood trauma and not wanting to become like our parents.
Now, am I going to deny that’s not a reason that at least some people would want to remain without children? Absolutely not. I’m sure there are those out there who are afraid of becoming bad parents like their own parents were to them. It’s entirely possible and even reasonable to suspect that a small percentage of the CF community remains without children for that very reason. However, to use it as a sweeping generalization to classify all or even a majority of CF people is, in my opinion, completely dishonest. Truth be told, personally I have NEVER met any childfree person who remained such due to childhood trauma.
Take me, for example. I won’t say I had a great childhood and I had my issues growing up, but I didn’t have a particularly bad or traumatizing childhood either. I don’t speak to my mother anymore, my step-father is dead and I don’t miss him one bit (good riddance), and I’ve never met my biological father, but none of this had anything to do with my upbringing, but rather events that happened later in life after I was already grown up.
The truth of the matter is that none of this has any bearing in my decision to be childfree. I knew I didn’t want children from a very, very early age, and my home life at the time was actually very good. You may have even been able to call me “privileged” at the time. We were living in a poor section of Roswell, New Mexico and I was better off than almost all of my classmates. There goes the assumption I had a bad childhood, eh?
The moral of the story? Never, assume someone’s childfree status is the result of childhood trauma. For that matter, don’t assume anything about someone’s childfree status. We all have our different reasons, each of them are equally valid I think.