Monthly Archives: November 2012
I get so mad at people who teach their children to believe in Santa Claus. Or the Easter Bunny. Or the Tooth Fairy, for that matter. Seriously, it pisses me off beyond belief.
Why, you ask? It’s very simple, really: because it teaches your kids that it’s OK to tell lies. You know you’re lying through your teeth when you tell your kids Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, etc. are real. There’s just no way around that fact. The fact of the matter is that they don’t exist, so telling someone they do exist is a lie. Period, end of story, do not pass go, do not collect $200. If anyone has any justification as to why it’s not a boldfaced lie, please entertain me in the comments section. I’d love to see you try to justify the unjustifiable.
Seriously, what’s going to happen when your kids find out? Why should they trust you to be honest with them once they know they’ve been lied to pretty much all their lives? How hurt are they going to be when they finally do figure out? I know I was really hurt when I figured it out.
Another reason it makes me mad is that it’s a form of mind control. I’m all for appropriate discipline and whatever, but using mind control to get your kids to behave is inexcusable. There’s nothing wrong with a good old fashioned butt busting when needed, USE IT. You don’t need to dupe your kids into believing some fictitious being is watching them and will give them nothing but a lump of coal for Christ-my-ass to get them to behave. Hmmm, sounds kind of like religion, doesn’t it? “Oh, believe in this or you’ll go to hell for eternity.” Yeah, my ass. I basically reasoned out that god/gods didn’t exist at the same time I figured out that Santa Claus didn’t exist. Hey, it was the most logical conclusion.
Now, what I *AM* OK with is playing these games with your kids as long as you make it known up-front that it’s all pretend. Yeah, you know they aren’t real, but it’s always fun to pretend and use your imagination, right? That’s perfectly cool with me. That way you’re not outright lying to your children, but it’s still fun for them.
Nonetheless, the bottom line is that telling your kids these fictional beings is real is nothing short of a lie, and you’re teaching your kids it’s OK to lie. Quit it.
I’ve read a couple of news articles recently about parents suing for “wrongful birth” of severely disabled children. Parents of children born without appendages, limbs, or even having severe mental and/or other physical handicaps have sued medical staff for allowing their children to be born instead of advising them accordingly to terminate the pregnancy. Unfortunately, these cases have all been thrown out of court, even though I think they have legitimate complaints.
What I don’t think is happening in these cases is that the judges and/or juries are not putting themselves in the shoes of a severely disabled person. By law they must all be of sound mind, so they can’t understand mental handicaps. Some of them may be able to understand some degree of physical handicap, but not to the level many of these children are handicapped. When you think to yourself “would *I* want to live like that” I’d have to think that any reasonable person would say “no, I would not.” I know I sure as hell wouldn’t, and I don’t know anyone who would either.
That said, I think it goes even further than that. I think if anyone, for whatever reason, thinks their quality of life is so poor that it’s in general not worth living, they should be able to sue not only the attending medical staff, but also their parents. After all, life was forced upon them by their parents and had it not been for them doing the nasty and conceiving, they wouldn’t have had to endure the pain and suffering that awaited them in an earthly life. It kind of goes back to what David Benatar said about being born:
“Each one of us was harmed by being brought into existence. That harm is not negligible, because the quality of even the best lives is very bad—and considerably worse than most people recognize it to be. Although it is obviously too late to prevent our own existence, it is not too late to prevent the existence of future possible people.”
“We infrequently contemplate the harms that await any new-born child—pain, disappointment, anxiety, grief, and death. For any given child we cannot predict what form these harms will take or how severe they will be, but we can be sure that at least some of them will occur. None of this befalls the nonexistent. Only existers suffer harm.”
When you think of it that way, it’s pretty easy to conclude that in everyone’s case, birth was wrongful. I understand that would open up a whole new can of worms, but at the same time, let’s face it, life’s rough. I think it’s very legitimate to sue your parents and/or the attending medical staff for the pain and suffering that befalls you due to being born (for had you never been born, you’d have never had to endure pain and suffering). So, yes, your pain and suffering is entirely their fault, and you should be entitled to compensation. I also think you should be entitled to the right to end your life without the state intervening and throwing you into a loony bin and shoving medicine down your throat if you try, but I’ll save that for another day.
So, yeah. Wrongful birth is, in my mind, a completely legitimate complaint for anyone, but especially for the severely disabled. That’s just no way to live, and anyone who is reasonable should be able to agree with that statement.
First of all, I’d like to say congratulations to United States president Barack Obama on winning re-election in a rather handy fashion. Talk about a relief for CF people in the US! Let me tell you what, ol’ Mittens would have been a devastating blow for women’s reproductive health not only in the US, but here and everywhere else in the world too (cutting funding for Planned Parenthood, which he said he’d do, as well as cutting funding for abortions and contraceptives/sterilization in developing countries, among other assaults on reproductive choice).
While we’re on the topic of reproductive choice, most notably abortion, I happened across a rather unusual circumstance yesterday. I did a post on my general blog about all the reasons I’m pro-choice and one of the commenters was adamantly anti-choice. Well, not to be surprising there, as there is still a certain percentage of people who live in prehistory and don’t want to live in the present. Said person pulled out the old tactics about god/gods (which I don’t believe exist, so that one doesn’t work with me) and of course went on a picture tirade of aborted fetuses (sorry, I don’t make decisions based on emotions, so that tactic doesn’t faze me either.
So I got to talking to someone who I knew was childfree about how crazy anti-choicers are, only for her to reveal to me that she was anti-choice herself. Needless to say I was completely bewildered when she said that.
I don’t understand how anyone can be childfree and yet anti-choice. The two terms are like contradictory to one another! On one hand, you want to have the freedom to choose not to reproduce, but on the other hand you’re denying people that same freedom? And you mean to tell me you’d rather be a parent against your will than go through with an abortion? Whatever the case, it made absolutely no sense in my mind whatsoever.
I am definitely not impressed, to say the least. I can only think of one thing and that this person is, deep down, a wannabreeder posing as a childfree person in the name of trying to make childfree people look stupid, or she’s a “shill” in other words. I wouldn’t be surprised if there exist people like that out there.
It’s simple really: to be childfree is to be pro-reproductive freedom, and to be pro-reproductive freedom is to be pro-choice. That’s all there is to it.
When I was in grad school a couple of years back I was part of the university swing dance club and after dancing we’d go out to dinner somewhere. Most of the population at my school and, consequently, of my swing club was Mormon. Well, you know how breederific Mormons are so the other three that went to dinner that night were discussing future kids and whatever while I sat by idly and just listened. Well, that is, until they asked me what I was planning on naming my kids.
I responded that I wasn’t having kids and started discussing why I didn’t want them. Of course, being Mormons they were aghast at such a thought. They seemed to be OK with it though as they knew I didn’t share their religious beliefs (my atheism was common knowledge with pretty much all of them) but I remember the other guy making the remark “I sure hope you’re gay.”
I was surprised by his remark so I asked him why he said that, and he responded with something along the lines of “you’re not going to find a woman who doesn’t want a family.”
Admittedly, I think he is probably extremely sheltered because of his religion, so I didn’t think much of it. Though, I have to wonder at times if there’s maybe a small taste of truth to that statement. It’s obviously not universally true as I know plenty of childfree women and if you’re female and reading my blog, chances are you are too. That said, it probably is easier for gay men who are childfree to find a mate than it is for straight childfree men to do so.
With the exception of two women, all of the women I’ve ever been on dates with have wanted children, and I’ve been on dates with about 10 or so during my time. Two out of 10 (or 20%) I think is about the percentage of childfree adults, so statistically it’s a pretty accurate sample. I think gay men in particular are probably the most likely to be childfree, though many of them do want to be parents too (and I 100% support gay adoption, by the way). Lesbian women I think also probably have a high incidence of childfreedom, but in my experience they’re more likely to want children than gay men are.
I don’t really know to tell you the truth. Perhaps it is kind of strange that I’m remembering this night all of a sudden now, but it’s puzzled me beyond belief. How would things be different if I were gay? Would it be easier to find a mate? Would being gay make my childfreedom more accepted by other people? You know, it’s a complex issue, for sure! I especially encourage childfree gay men and lesbian women to chime in on this, as I’ve never really explored a potential link between being childfree and sexual orientation.
I’m looking forward to your comments!