Childfree and Anti-Choice?!?!?

First of all, I’d like to say congratulations to United States president Barack Obama on winning re-election in a rather handy fashion. Talk about a relief for CF people in the US! Let me tell you what, ol’ Mittens would have been a devastating blow for women’s reproductive health not only in the US, but here and everywhere else in the world too (cutting funding for Planned Parenthood, which he said he’d do, as well as cutting funding for abortions and contraceptives/sterilization in developing countries, among other assaults on reproductive choice).

While we’re on the topic of reproductive choice, most notably abortion, I happened across a rather unusual circumstance yesterday. I did a post on my general blog about all the reasons I’m pro-choice and one of the commenters was adamantly anti-choice. Well, not to be surprising there, as there is still a certain percentage of people who live in prehistory and don’t want to live in the present. Said person pulled out the old tactics about god/gods (which I don’t believe exist, so that one doesn’t work with me) and of course went on a picture tirade of aborted fetuses (sorry, I don’t make decisions based on emotions, so that tactic doesn’t faze me either.

So I got to talking to someone who I knew was childfree about how crazy anti-choicers are, only for her to reveal to me that she was anti-choice herself. Needless to say I was completely bewildered when she said that.

I don’t understand how anyone can be childfree and yet anti-choice. The two terms are like contradictory to one another! On one hand, you want to have the freedom to choose not to reproduce, but on the other hand you’re denying people that same freedom? And you mean to tell me you’d rather be a parent against your will than go through with an abortion? Whatever the case, it made absolutely no sense in my mind whatsoever.

I am definitely not impressed, to say the least. I can only think of one thing and that this person is, deep down, a wannabreeder posing as a childfree person in the name of trying to make childfree people look stupid, or she’s a “shill” in other words. I wouldn’t be surprised if there exist people like that out there.

It’s simple really: to be childfree is to be pro-reproductive freedom, and to be pro-reproductive freedom is to be pro-choice. That’s all there is to it.



About coolchildfreeguy

Childfree guy living in Mexico City. Professional pilot by day, all-around fun guy by night.

Posted on November 13, 2012, in Childfree, Law, Medicine, Parenting, Politics, women's health. Bookmark the permalink. 15 Comments.

  1. Yea, the more I think about it, the more I’m glad BO won. I actually voted 4 him 4 years ago, didn’t feel like he accomplished enough, and went with Gary Johnson this time. I just hope he can get help from our other leaders and get the country back on track. Ok, this isn’t a politics blog, so I’ll stop.

  2. These people must be on some sort of organized mission. I got the SAME kind of comment on my blog the other day. And it was in relation to a post I did about volunteering at a trail race. But he read my “about” and had to comment about my marriage not being legitimate and being against God’s plan. Okie Dokie.

    The Kidless Kronicles

  3. Let’s just say there’s contradiction all around & everybody doesn’t fit into neat boxes. I tend to lean a bit more on right-wing ideals than the typical childfree person, but I happen to be extremely pro-choice & separation of Church & state atheist. Abortion is a very personal issue & should not be a partisan issue. But I also think Obama’s policies are terrible for the country’s economy & the national debt.

  4. The only way you could be anti-choice and child free is if you never have sex, ever(not going into the possibility of sexual assault), which I’m sure is not the case.

  5. There are also anti-choice atheists, although they’re not always that easy to find. And surprisingly enough, pro-choice Catholics and pro-choice Protestants. They’ve got organizations and everything. o.O

    I don’t understand why people who are talking to known atheists insist on giving their god or gods as a reason for why the atheists should change their opinions about things, like the issue of abortion and contraception. It makes no sense to me. It’s like saying it’s naughty and Santa won’t bring presents if they support abortion. It’s weird. Probably more of that, “you believe deep down!” bullshit mentality.

    Hopefully that idiot will leave you alone from now on and stop trying to give you bullshit, transparent reasons to change your mind about abortion. I mean, seriously? I have not heard a single good, logical reason yet for being anti-choice. Even from atheists. Then again, there’s no reason to assume that you must be a logical person in order to be an atheist (there are atheistic religions, as well as people who don’t believe in deities but believe adamantly in other supernatural bullshit that there’s zero evidence for), but it still strikes me as bizarre.

    I guess I can see how you could be CF but still anti-choice. If she doesn’t have kids, and is happy and fulfilled without them, and has absolutely no plans to have children and even adamantly doesn’t want them, then she’s CF. Even if she is also anti-choice. I wouldn’t be surprised if she also harbors the idea that contraception is foolproof. She might also think the chances of her ever getting pregnant are zero, even if she might admit that they aren’t. It’s different to know something logically sometimes than to actually believe it. If you feel like something is so far removed from ever being within your realm of experience, then it’s easier to judge others and make stupid assumptions and decisions. I suspect if she ever did find herself pregnant, she would either go ahead with the abortion she never thought she’d get (a position a lot of women who were — or hypocritically are — anti-choice DO find themselves in) or she wouldn’t keep the child after she gave birth. Or if she did, someone else might end up raising it (like a relative). I don’t know this person, so I could be wrong.

    I actually think a lot of women are CF, then get pregnant by accident and don’t feel like abortion is an option (and there could be various reasons for that, stigma being a large one) and just end up keeping the kid and being miserable for the rest of their lives, regretting their decision and being resentful of people who successfully remain CF, as well. I think those are the women (and even some of the men) who get all uptight and pissed over the mere thought of someone being/staying/advocating for CF and the CF lifestyle and who argue with CFers or troll them on the Internet. I wouldn’t be surprised if this woman, should she ever find herself in need of deciding between abortion, adoption, or keeping a baby that she might choose to keep the child and then turn into one of those resentful women

    But, yeah, not everybody who is CF is atheist and logical, and not all atheists are logical either. They often happily let their emotions dictate any, or even all, of their decisions or political decisions. She could be CF but draw the line at abortion, if she buys into the propaganda that abortion is literally and honestly murder, and/or if she thinks that children should be considered consequences for people who can’t be responsible about sex.

    Still, you’re right it isn’t logical and it’s ridiculous. People find all kinds of weird ways to make illogical ideas work in their heads when they aren’t even good in theory, let alone in practice. I hope that she comes around eventually, and sees just how ridiculous this idea is, that she needs and deserves to be in full control over her body and reproductive health. And that the choice to have a safe, legal, affordable, easily-accessible abortion should never be taken away, regardless of what choice she ends up making. She might find herself in the position one day to make such a choice, in which case she might surprise herself and choose abortion. Or she might not. I’ve seen a lot of pro-choice women say that, until they got pregnant, they were anti-choice and ended up realizing that even though they ultimately chose not to abort or chose to give them up for adoption instead, that they were glad the choice to have an abortion was there…They didn’t take it, but they were glad the option was there.

    I’m not sure if this woman’s stance is anti-choice overall or just for herself, but either way it’s a ridiculous and even dangerous position to hold. Dangerous to the women and their families that she’s attempting to make life decisions for without knowing them or their situations. And, of course, let’s not forget that even if she did know them and their situations and their families, it still isn’t her business what those women do with their bodies. It’s rather arrogant that she thinks it is her business, no matter how she views abortion.

    Either way, I suspect one day she will either turn into one of those resentful women who was happy not having children and never wanted any but ended up saddled with them anyway because she refused the options of abortion or adoption and then ends up crusading against the childfree, or end up changing her mind about abortion due to an unfortunate unwanted pregnancy of her own at some point. It’s also possible she’ll never find herself pregnant, but given the statistics on how many women in the US alone find themselves with an unwanted pregnancy, I dunno. Especially if she’s sexually active at all, or plans to be at some point. And even if she did end up being celibate for her entire life, it doesn’t rule out rape (which I hope she never, ever has to experience, don’t get me wrong).

    I personally can’t understand how anyone, religious or not, childfree or not, whatever…could be anti-choice. No matter how they view abortion. Just because of the wealth of knowledge we have about it and how important it is on many different levels and taking into consideration so many different factors. But, there are so many who are. I just find it mind-boggling and very sad. The information to counter their argument, which should relieve their worries, is right there. We have it. We’ve got it all. It’s easy to find, easy to access. But, I’ve got my own ideas on why this doesn’t seem to make a difference. This is long enough, though, so I’ll shut up. :p

  6. <>

    I completely agree! It’s absurd, and irrational that someone can choose not to have kids but force that upon someone else. I don’t understand it, either!

  7. I am childfree and pro-life (abortion, death penalty, etc.). So what.

    I remain childfree by planning things appropriately and taking charge of my life.

    The people I don’t understand, are the ones who choose abortion for birth control. If you don’t want to have a kid, then take responsibility of your reproductive organs and plan things accordingly. It’s time we stop acting like we are helpless. If I don’t want a kid, I don’t get pregnant…. isn’t that the whole freakin point of choosing a childfree lifestyle.

    Let’s stop the divide among the CF lifestyle.. as if there isn’t enough divide about being CF in general

    • “So what?” Really? Being anti-choice is in direct contradiction with everything childfreedom stands for.

      Sure, take every precaution available to you, but then what if you end up pregnant anyway (hey, it can happen, and the only 100% effective methods of contraception are abstinence, hysterectomy, and castration). Then what? Are you going to just put up with having a kid, or are you going to shit out that little crotch dropping only to never see it again? Don’t say it won’t happen to you because it very well could, no matter how careful you are.

      Yeah, it’s so damn easy to spout that crap off right now until you’ve been in that position yourself, isn’t it? Never mind the fact that the kindest thing you could do is to terminate the pregnancy that way the potential person doesn’t ever have to experience the pain and suffering that awaits him/her on earth (why do you think I embrace antinatalism?).

      As far as stopping the divide, well, let me make this clear: I call out hypocrisy when I see it. Sorry I hurt your feelings (well, maybe I’m not) but that’s just the way it is. Hypocrisy pisses me off more than anything else in this world.

  8. You sir, are the most ignorant hypocrite I have ever ran across in the CF dome. I bet you are blind to any hypocrisy of your own! You want people to understand and accept your choice, but you are not willing to understand any other. You lack credibility. If you are so supportive of choice, why don’t you start supporting choices and opinions that are not your own. HYPOCRISY at its finest! I don’t care what your opinion is, you are entitled to have it. I am just letting you know that there are a lot of us CFers that support all life, but won’t create any poop machines of our own. I am not here to judge those that are pro-choice, but I will represent being CF and pro-life, obviously there are quit a few of us out there, so you really shouldn’t create another divide in this awesome lifestyle. If you want to attack me for that, then that shows YOUR ignorance.

    Again, you pose the question, “Childfree and Anti-Choice?!?!?”, I answered it! If you don’t like the answer, then don’t ask the question. I can clearly see that you only want the answers that support your one viewpoint. That my friend is, blind hypocrisy.

    No wonder some breeders have such disdain for the CF; because a few bad apples ruin the bunch.

    • I’m not the one being hypocritical because I’m not the one that holds a contradictory viewpoint. 😉 The fact of the matter remains that it’s logically inconsistent to be childfree and yet anti-choice. If you can’t see that then perhaps you should take a class in logic. It would do you some good.

      Like I said, when you wind up accidentally pregnant you can come back here and then say something about this. I’d bet my life savings on the fact that you’d completely change your tune if you ever wound up accidentally pregnant.

      For the record, being pro-choice is not about promoting abortion as the above-all end-all. It’s about supporting reproductive choice (i.e. saying abortion should be one option, not the only option). You anti-choice people don’t seem to get that through your thick skulls.

  9. As a childfree by choice woman, I have to say that I agree with MP that not everybody fits into neat boxes. It’s an ugly question but the choice comes down, I think, to when you believe a fetus becomes a person – when does a soul exist?

    IMO, if a woman is foolish/ careless enough to become pregnant, the inconvenience of pregnancy is her fault, not the child’s. Let her carry it to term and give it up for adoption. No one is harmed, and someone who wants a kid gets one. Win-win. The woman has no room to complain if she did not use multiple methods – BCP and condom, and if it’s long term, somebody needs to get snipped.

    Does that make me pro life? Not so much. I think the pro life group as a whole wants to run people’s lives and make choices for them, by making laws against abortion and taking away birth control. I don’t think abortion is the best choice, because there is another alternative (birth and adoption) that does less harm.

    • As an antinatalist (i.e. one who assigns a negative value to birth and, as a whole, believes it is better to have never been brought into this world to begin with) I would argue that abortion is less harm than birth. I guess it just depends on whether you’re pronatalist or antinatalist (which it’s entirely possible to be CF and pronatalist, though that’s another viewpoint I don’t understand).

      Also note that I make a very clear distinction between “pro-life” and “anti-choice.” The former is a more personal conviction akin to a religious conviction. The latter is purely political and aims to limit the reproductive freedom of women via legal means. I’m not necessarily in favor of abortion “just because,” but if you say abortion is only OK in certain instances, that’s a recipe for disaster as is complete abolition.

  10. I am childfree and I am very pro-choice. And while I support adoption, not everyone is happy giving up their child to strangers to raise. Especially considering all of the physical alterations that happen to the female body and the pain of labor. Just like every child who is adopted is not happy with being adopted. To say that going through with the pregnancy is better than abortion is purely personal and highly opinionated: Nissa.

    There are days (a lot of days) where I wish I had the option of appearing to my mother in a dream and asking her not to have me. My life so far hasn’t been cruelly hard, but it hasn’t been a cake walk either. I would never wish a forced pregnancy on any woman.

    And we all know that abortions would be free if men had the ability to become pregnant.

  11. I can see how it’s possible to be both childfree by choice and anti-choice. While I’m pro-choice myself, I did have an instance where despite the pill I got pregnant and I chose adoption. It wasn’t because I didn’t believe abortion was an option or it was my fault I got pregnant so I had to bear the consequences or any bs like that, I just figured a pregnancy wouldn’t devastate me and for various reasons I figured I’d go through with the pregnancy and give the result to someone that wanted him. Well my family pressured me to try parenting and I wasn’t happy, didn’t feel that sudden rush of “Oh this is my baby, how wonderful” love that parents described. I loved him but certainly didn’t want to go through life struggling to return to college around a schedule of work and daycare and take care of a child for the rest of my life so I chose adoption. And then my parents constantly reminded me that I gave away their “grandchild”. I had to cut them out of my life for constantly trying to put me through emotional pain to get back at me. I would have let them raise him like they wanted but they used to beat me as a kid and I certainly wasn’t going to put another person through that, I’m not sadistic. So I learned that if you actually give a child up, even if you’re young and poor, society will stigmatize you and you will be put through hell. And for the record if the tubal I got afterward ever fails I’m getting an abortion without a doubt. So yes you can be anti-choice and still be childfree by choice but I don’t think they know what they’re getting themselves into if they have an unplanned pregnancy, and I know someone who got pregnant using both condoms and the pill so it can happen.

  1. Pingback: #Childfree Times for November 2012 - Nyxks Musings

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