The Beginning of the End (For Real This Time)…
Well, about this time last year I sent off my registration for Dignitas along with a request for assisted suicide. They denied me. Well, now it turns out I might not need to travel halfway across the world for assisted suicide after all.
This is something I haven’t told anyone who knows me IRL about, because I don’t want them interfering with my own bodily autonomy, and as such I will never tell them. Of course, none of you know me IRL, and all only a few of you know my true identity (namely my fellow members of the Facebook group “Living Hell” who have already heard this news and support my decisions), so I trust that you will not leak this information to anyone who knows me IRL.
Anyway, I went to the walk-in clinic a few weeks ago for what I believed to be an upper respiratory infection. Doctor had a listen and just knew something was amiss. Doctor ordered a full-on work-up, including a chest x-ray. Guess what the chest x-ray showed? If you guessed multiple masses you would be correct.
In short, there is probably about a 90% chance that I have lung cancer. I’ve not had a biopsy to confirm or anything of that sort, but that will come soon enough. If it is cancer I won’t get treatment anyway so it’s whatever. The nice thing about this is that given that I have a terminal illness, I now qualify for death with dignity in the United States. I no longer have to go to Switzerland to have my wishes carried out. In that light, I am very grateful that I will soon have an escape.
Though my doctors consider me highly unlucky to have lung cancer (especially since I’m only 28 years old and I don’t have a super long history of smoking) I find myself very fortunate to be in such a situation. If it comes to fruition that I do in fact have probably the deadliest form of cancer in men, it won’t be long until I am relieved from the unfortunate state of existence.