The Beginning of the End (For Real This Time)…

Well, about this time last year I sent off my registration for Dignitas along with a request for assisted suicide. They denied me. Well, now it turns out I might not need to travel halfway across the world for assisted suicide after all.

This is something I haven’t told anyone who knows me IRL about, because I don’t want them interfering with my own bodily autonomy, and as such I will never tell them. Of course, none of you know me IRL, and all only a few of you know my true identity (namely my fellow members of the Facebook group “Living Hell” who have already heard this news and support my decisions), so I trust that you will not leak this information to anyone who knows me IRL.

Anyway, I went to the walk-in clinic a few weeks ago for what I believed to be an upper respiratory infection. Doctor had a listen and just knew something was amiss. Doctor ordered a full-on work-up, including a chest x-ray. Guess what the chest x-ray showed? If you guessed multiple masses you would be correct.

In short, there is probably about a 90% chance that I have lung cancer. I’ve not had a biopsy to confirm or anything of that sort, but that will come soon enough. If it is cancer I won’t get treatment anyway so it’s whatever. The nice thing about this is that given that I have a terminal illness, I now qualify for death with dignity in the United States. I no longer have to go to Switzerland to have my wishes carried out. In that light, I am very grateful that I will soon have an escape.

Though my doctors consider me highly unlucky to have lung cancer (especially since I’m only 28 years old and I don’t have a super long history of smoking) I find myself very fortunate to be in such a situation. If it comes to fruition that I do in fact have probably the deadliest form of cancer in men, it won’t be long until I am relieved from the unfortunate state of existence.


About coolchildfreeguy

Childfree guy living in Mexico City. Professional pilot by day, all-around fun guy by night.

Posted on June 7, 2015, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. If I got a horrible disease such as cancer or if I was paralyzed from the neck down, I would either opt for assisted suicide or maybe even od on some sort of hardcore drugs. I believe a quicker less sufferable death would be better than being in pain or being a burden on others. A life like that is NOT worth living. Even dealing with a mental disorder can be equally as tragic. No matter what decision you end up making, whether it be continuing your existence or putting an early end to it, no one(not even your family)has the right to interfere. A person who truly cares will put aside their own feelings and attachment if it means you finding solace in the way you see fit.

  2. I wish for peace and solace in whatever outcome and decision you choose.

  3. Hi Cool Guy! So sorry to read about the bad chest x-ray. I am praying for you. Try taking the vitamin C in soft gel form.

    • No need to be sorry. I’m definitely not. I hate being alive so if something will kill me then I’m all for it.

    • Nancy Warrender

      Cool Guy! What is your real name??? If your lung cancer gets really bad you won’t have to worry about the assisted suicide. Cancer spreads throughout the body. I had thyroid cancer and it did get outside of the gland and into lymph nodes and surrounding tissues. Recently had another lymph node in my neck (right side again) swell up. Not fun. Coincidentally, I was age 29 when I was diagnosed, had the surgery two days after my 30th birthday. Again, I will pray. I am not in Facebook but check my aol mail daily. Nancy

      • Sorry, but I am highly uncomfortable revealing my given name in such a public way. I don’t want anyone who knows me IRL to google search me and find any of this. That level of anonymity is invaluable to protecting my privacy and now, with this priveleged info, protecting my medical history. I don’t want any of my IRL friends finding out about the diagnosis as I don’t want any of them trying to persuade me into treatment.

        Nonetheless, if the diagnosis is confirmed, I will end my life before the pain really sets in, in much the same way Brittany Maynard ended hers.

      • Nancy Warrender

        Sorry! Have an acceptable day.

  4. TheUntergangMan

    Congratulations on winning the death lottery.

  5. I’m going to be sad to see you go. This miserable world was a little bit better with you in it.

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